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~ Review 34 - Venice in Islan by AkinpeluOlusawayomip ~

Book Information
Title: Venice in Ilsan
Author: AkinpeluOluwasayomip
Genre: Friendship, Short story
Chapters: 6 (complete)
Target Audience: 15-30

A. N. A. L. Y. S. I. S

Characters:

There are just two characters in the story, Tiwalope and Kim Bora. The focus of the story is Tiwa, who is a lost university student who decided to travel to South Korea to take a break from the stresses of life. This is where she meets Bora, an optimist, who soon changes Tiwa's view about life and makes her find new meanings in her hobbies

Writing Style:

The story is written in first person pov giving the readers a personal look at the story from the main character's lens. There is also a lot of inclusion of the character's thoughts in the story. Their perception of other people's thoughts is based on bodily actions noticed by the main lead.

Spellings and Vocabulary: 8/10

Some paragraphs are too bulky. The spelling and grammar have little to no errors noticed.

E. V. A. L. U. A. T. I. O. N

Overall Impression:

The story gives off a personal feel that is very appealing to imaginative and hopeful minds. I enjoyed the brevity and passion in the few chapters.

Strengths & Weaknesses:

One thing that worked well for this story is its brevity. There were not too many and too few details given. It also has a realistic storyline.

Recommendation:

I would advise spacing breaking some paragraphs into smaller ones, it makes reading easier for the reader.

Your use of commands was good, however, I would advise against giving too many descriptions of physical attributes or surroundings.

Try to weave them into the story instead of just painting a picture without actions. It would also help debulk your paragraphs.

Avoid saying or describing the same thing in multiple ways.

Also, in chapter 3, there is a name "diamond" that suddenly appears. This can confuse readers if the reason behind the name isn't stated clearly.

Reviewed by Kanye_Ariel