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~ Review 90 - Trapped in His Eyes by PraiseAjibola3 ~

Book Title: Trapped in His Eyes
Author: PraiseAjibola3
Genre: psycho-thriller
Target Audience: 18+
Current Status: 17/ongoing
Number of Chapters Read: 10

Review by jambudweep

WRITING STYLE

The story has been written if first person, past tense. The descriptions are mostly straightforward, telling the readers what is happening, or what is going inside the narrator's head.

Since the story is written in first person, it's understandable to tell the readers the narrator's mind. But, at the same time, make sure that there is room for visual imagination. Like, incorporate a bit of details of surroundings—sight and smell. This will make the atmosphere more livable instead of making the readers feel like the characters are floating in a white room with a couple of things flying around. Additionally, facial expressions and body movements can help as well in bringing the essence of showing rather than telling.

Furthermore, it feels like every character uses the similar tone of conversations, or thoughts: clipped, intense, and to the point, mainly Woody, Madison, and Lily.

About grammatical parts, I will say, check the letter "I" as it has been typed as "i" several times. Additionally, there is a scene where Woody is getting ready to attend the school's function. There he doesn't wear a tie, but later on there is a mention of "loosened tie" in the following paragraph.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

There are more than a bunch of characters in the story, but let's focus on those around whom the story promises to revolve.

First, Lily. The famous neglected child with some spectacular creativity in her head. At first, she is introduced as a naive, nerd, and empathetic character with a heartbroken background story from her childhood. It feels more like, "Okay,I've got it enough. And now I don't care. So let's bear everything silently," attitude. 

However, upon the entry of Woody in her life, readers get to see more sides of hers, unexpectedly, the underlying bold personality, with the way she talks it so clearly to the principle about the punishments of the bullies. Or, the way she talks it back to her mother.

Though these are fun twists to read, let's not forget that character development happens with a course of time. But her, it feels a bit faster and somehow not unrealistic, but not believable either.

Now, let's move to Woody. The oh-so mysterious one, good guy. Since chapter one, he sounds a bit suspicious with the way he shows his interest more in Lily than in Madison.

About character development in this guy, there hasn't been much space felt for that except for his change in behavior towards Lily in chapter 10.

HOOK

Let me be honest with this. I planned to read a maximum of five chapters, but I ended up reading ten, and still craving to know more because of the interesting storyline.

But yeah, at times, there were these clouds of boredom looming around my mind due to less engaging descriptions. What I meant here is, I had to put a lot of effort into imagining the surroundings, or the characters' appearance, or the way they talk and express themselves, as there were minimal to no descriptions regarding these.

Additionally, I think that revealing Woody's motives this early kind of takes away the anticipation the readers are feelings with each ticking of the clock. Now, we are only left with one question. How will Lily and Madison react upon knowing the truth?

Thus, I advised to play around a bit before blasting the bomb.

Yeah, that's all.

The author can take things into account they think will work for their work, or just follow their own mind.

BEST OF LUCK!