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~ Review 73 - Our Insecurities by ogboso_vivian ~

Book Information

Book Title: Our Insecurities
Author: @ogboso_vivian
Genre: Teen Fiction
Target Audience: 13-18
No. of chapters read: 6

Reviewed by jambudweep

BLURB

The blurb reflects the storyline with a fair judgement as it aligns with the plot seamlessly. A little piece of suggestion is to make it clear—Who is the main protagonist, Favour or Chisimdi? Because the opening chapter counter the blurb with the introduction of Favour instead of Chisimdi at the starting.

GRAMMAR

Puncuation and grammatical errors are scattered throughout the story, accompanied by abrupt transitions of tenses. The only advice is to proofread in order to get rid of them. Editing shops can be a help as well as they are available on this platform more widely. Here are some examples given below:

"...block A, hall..." a comma after 'A'. As calm as ice, it should be as cold as ice. Extra space error. "...they *had been planning." "...Chisimdi *taking advantage..." "...classmates once had a crush on her..."

OPENING CHAPTER

The chapter opens with a wave of shocking emotions written explicitly over there, which could grab some readers' attention immediately while some may find this overly dramatic. But, this opening paragraph does a better job at introducing a character, Favour Chidimma Okoye, and the external conflict—Why does everyone fear her?

The 4th and 5th paragraphs are supposed to be mysterious. But, with the direct narration of the scene and without any descriptive writing, it is dry and less engaging. To overcome this, use facial expressions, actions, body movements, and a brief description of the surroundings—not to make the readers feel like the characters are flying in a blank space.

Since this story has been written in past tense with third person POV, there is a very wide range of scope to make the writing more immersive. Like, the chapter shows a hint of information being delivered through the introspection of the protagonist throughout. This can bring a sense of boredom since readers are continuously being told everything through the narrator's eyes instead of a character's eyes.

The chapter ends simply with no particular intriguing aspect, as the initial one is solved. That is, everyone fears her because she is the chapel perfect. Thus, no one wants to mess up with her.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

More than a dozen characters are introduced in five chapters, making it hard to follow everyone at the same time. This contributes to the absence of any sort of noticeable development among them. Even after reading till chapter 6th, there is not any emotional attachment to be felt. Some characters that stand out more in the sea of characters are: Favour Chidimma Okoye, Chisimdi, Marceana, Ada, Meredith, Liam, Jayden, and Abigail so far.

Additionally, from the opening paragraph of the first chapter, on can think that "Favour" is the protagonist. However, from the blurb, "Chisimdi" is said to be the main lead of the story.

Since this is a teen-fiction story featuring a high school in the background, the number of characters readers should be introduced to in just a few beginning chapters are debatable. But, it has been implied as something to take care of with nuance and precision. Give the readers that much, they can perceive without feeling overwhelmed. Take time to make the connection between the characters and the readers.

ORIGINALITY AND CREATIVITY

The story is a typical teen-fiction drama revolving around the lives of a bunch of teenagers, exploring the wave of emotions they feel in that particular age-range.

What makes this book stand out is that every character is dealing with some sort of problem, whether it's school romance, family problems, underlying enmity between friends, betrayal, cheating, heartbreak, and much more.

Additionally, the chat exchanges that caused the whole drama are creatively written, bringing authenticity to the scene.

OVERALL ENJOYMENT

The opening chapter is a good read with its slow-paced writing. But, moving further to the next chapters, the writing becomes very fast-paced with so much info-dumping, giving a hard time to enjoy the plot.

However, things become quite interesting as the drama unfolds in chapter 3rd with Jayden and Favour arguing. Additionally, progress can be seen in terms of description from chapter 4th as well.

But again, info-dumping through unnecessary description pulls that excitement short-handedly. Thus, consider eliminating things that do not contribute to that particular scene in any aspect. Additionally, instead of revealing things through the narrator's voice exclusively, use characters as a tool to make the revelation more engaging and enjoyable.

Yeah, that's all. It's all on the author now. They can take things into account they think will work for them or just follow their mind.

BEST OF LUCK!