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~ Review 69 - Prisoner of the Past by DeathBlade__ ~

Book Information

Title: Prisoner of the Past
Author: DeathBlade__
Genre: Mystery, Fantasy, Romance
(MATURE 18+)
Chapters: 13 (Ongoing)

Reviewed by Sharon_nthelse

Plot Development:
The plot development is compelling and driven by a series of escalating mysteries and conflicts:

• Introduction: Nina's release from prison and her immediate desire to escape to London.

• Inciting Incident: The shocking discovery of Thomas Rutger's decomposing yet bleeding body.

• Rising Action:
• Nina's internal conflict and her decision to leave the scene.
• The introduction of Elias and his witnessing of the body.
• Elias's interaction with the skeptical police and the disappearance of the body.
• The flashback to Elias's traumatic past.

• Suspense and Mystery: The central mystery of Rutger's reappearance, the disappearance of the body, and the potential involvement of supernatural or psychological elements drives the plot forward. The introduction of new characters and their perspectives adds layers of complexity.

Character Depth:
• Nina: Initially presented as a hardened criminal, layers of vulnerability and a desire for anonymity are gradually revealed. Her internal struggles, her fear of returning to prison, and her decisive actions showcase a complex character shaped by her past experiences. The hints of a traumatic past (the scars) further deepen her portrayal.

• Elias: Introduced as an accidental witness, his character gains depth through the revelation of his own traumatic past and the origin of his disability. His earnest attempts to explain the unbelievable and his growing frustration at the police skepticism make him a sympathetic figure.

Writing Style:
Your writing style is generally strong and effective:

• Descriptive Language: You use vivid imagery and sensory details to immerse the readers in the scene (e.g., the description of the alley, the blood, the sounds in the flashback).

• Pacing: The pacing is well-managed, building suspense gradually and then accelerating during key moments like the discovery of the body and Elias's interrogation.

• Dialogue: The dialogue is concise and serves to reveal characters and advance the plot.

• Internal Monologue: Nina's internal thoughts provide valuable insights into her motivations and emotional state.

• Figurative Language: You effectively use similes and metaphors (e.g., the scream like lightning, the world as a melancholic pit).

Originality:
The story presents a highly original premise with the impossible reappearance of a murder victim. The blending of crime fiction elements with potential supernatural or psychological themes creates a unique and intriguing narrative. The character of Elias, with his distinct physical characteristic and traumatic backstory, also adds to the originality.

Grammar:
The grammar and spelling throughout all the parts are consistently correct, contributing to a smooth and professional reading experience.

Emotional Impact:
The story effectively evokes a range of emotions:

• Suspense and Mystery: The central mysteries surrounding Rutger's reappearance and the disappearing body create a strong sense of intrigue and keep the reader engaged.

• Shock and Horror: The initial discovery of the body is genuinely shocking and disturbing.

• Empathy and Vulnerability: Nina's desire for escape and Elias's struggle to be believed evoke empathy. The flashback to Elias's trauma adds to his vulnerability.

• Tension and Unease: The confrontation with the police and the sense of the inexplicable create a palpable tension.

In Conclusion:
The parts of your story I read so far demonstrate a compelling and original narrative with well-developed characters, a strong writing style, and a consistent build-up of suspense and mystery. The central premise is intriguing, and the introduction of unexpected twists keeps the reader engaged. The grammar is sounds, and the emotional impact is significant. The story maintains a good level of coherence despite the bizarre events, effectively drawing the reader into its unfolding mysteries. I am eager to see how these mysteries will be resolved and what will happen to Nina and Elias.

Overall Coherence:
The story demonstrates a strong sense of coherence, particularly in the unfolding mystery of Thomas Rutger's reappearance. The initial setup of Nina's release and her desire to escape her past seamlessly transitions into the bizarre encounter in the alley. The introduction of Elias and his subsequent interaction with the police provides a crucial external perspective on the seemingly impossible events. The flashbacks to Elias's past, while seemingly a divergence, adds a layer of potential connection to themes of violence and trauma within the narrative. The story effectively builds suspense and raises numerous interconnected questions.