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~ Review 105 : From My Dreams by @chillioilchikenwings ~

Book Information:
Title: From my dreams
Author: chillioilchikenwings
Genre: Romance, Reverse Isekai, slow burn
Chapters: Prologue +13

Reviewed by Kanye_Ariel

A. N. A. L. Y. S. I. S

Characters:

Divya is portrayed as a career-oriented, secured, diligent and bold person. Despite having the comfortable life others dream of, she carries this unknown emptiness in her.

Here comes Adrian, a noble knight, the main of her dreams who shouldn't exist in her reality. However, here he comes on a bright and sunny morning.

Adrian is proud, respected and secure in himself and his reality. That is until he finds himself in a reality that isn't his. Navigating this new world comes with a lot of adjustment and awakening for him.

Writing Style:

The story is written in third person pov which oscillates between the view-focus of the two main characters.

The story is heavily descriptive in itself.

Spellings and Vocabulary:

The spellings have little to no issues. Vocabulary is simple and easy to understand. However, paragraphing is too tight and punctuations need to be worked on.

E. V. A. L. U. A. T. I. O. N

Overall Impression:

The concept of having the magical user get isekaied into a non-magical reality is actual a twist of fate. The plot itself is very unique and I can't wait to see how it all plays out eventually.

Strengths & Weaknesses:

This new plot is a big strength.

Recommendation:

First off, the lack of adequate paragraphing is not good. Your story needs more spacing. As the camera moves or a dialogue takes place, make it a paragraph of its own.

As far as physical description of the characters and their dressing goes, it feels too forced. You need to work it into the story instead of being blatant about it.

Too much time is spent explaining the environment around that instead of building momentum, it is just info-dumping. This is called overly expository storytelling.

For instance: Instead of saying, "...A 23-year-old employee in one of the..."

You could say: "...In all twenty-three years of Divya's life, she couldn't believe that the man of dreams could spill into reality..."

Don't just tell the story, show it. Blend it in.

Also, there isn't need to state "POV" since you are writing in third person and not first person.

Your dialogue feels a bit stiff in certain places.

When writing the thoughts of the characters, I would advise writing it in italics with its own paragraph. You don't need to say, "she thought" or "he thought"