I Think I'm in Trouble {Reimagined}

XCII.

"It's safe to say, perhaps, Shannon gets the use of anger as a defense mechanism when she's stressed or sad from me," Stevie sighed, drinking the chamomile tea Lindsey had prepared for her. "I'm still really stressed out over what is at hand... Both my kids feel it too."

Settling his hand over hers, he stayed quiet as he took in her appearance; how disheveled yet how free she'd become since her small breakdown.

"I'm really sorry," she sniffled, looking up at him.

"Stop apologizing..." he asked.

"Well, I am. I was so panicked I did something bad that I was avoiding you because I guess I had in my mind that you were gonna yell at me like Robert used to. Then I thought you were mad at me because I had done something wrong... There was no excuse, I was wrong... I was just trying to deal with whatever this horrible feeling in my gut is," she gestured.

"Let's back up from that," he sighed. "I know you still have a bad feeling, but I'm really worried about you. I haven't seen you binge drink like this in forever. It's only been a couple days, but it's enough and you're clearly not enjoying yourself like you used to."

She was absolutely a pleasure to be in the company of when she was drunk; she was normally a lot of fun and carefree, but the hangovers always brought on a depression after the fact and not usually anxiety. It was all new to her.

She knew well she was beginning to get depressed even if it was postpartum, but she wanted to get rid of her hangover once and for all in order to make sure it really was postpartum and not the facade of alcohol leaving her system.

"I feel so depleted right now, I can't even think about this," she sighed. "I'm just sorry and I really am if I offended you by not remembering the other night. I really can't remember a whole lot, but once everybody told me some things, bits and pieces were starting to come back to me. I was being so obnoxious because I drank way too much. I do remember getting to the hotel now, I do remember us having sex... "

He recounted, being a little more aggressive with his words the day before.

"Then I remember calling Robert when you left in the morning, I asked him to come earlier, because I was worried about Jeff."

Since he'd heard about Robert coming earlier, having also heard that she asked him---he had wondered when she would have made that call to him when they'd been together up until he had stormed out the morning before.

"He called me this morning to tell me his flight got delayed to tomorrow..." she sighed, allowing them to then linger in silence as she stared blankly into space. "Thank you for staying last night and not leaving with Lily, you had every right to take her."

"I wouldn't have done that to you, I was just mad," he explained. "You were really hitting the right nerves."

"I know..." she trembled. "She's yours too and I--" she stopped, a fresh set of warm tears just on the cusp of falling down the sides of her face as she blinked.

"What's the matter, huh?" he asked, his blue eyes a near gray as he sympathized over her pain.

He didn't know what was going on, but it surely seemed like she was in pure agony---just suffering. There just wasn't another way to put it as he watched her cry off and on for the last several hours.

She shook her head, shrugging as she tried to take a deep breath; she really had no idea what to tell him.

"You wanna go lay down?" he wondered, knowing it would do her well to probably sleep.

She nodded her head, pushing herself up from the table. She closed her robe tightly, never having actually taken it off.

Instead of taking that hot bath, she cried in his arms and he eventually brought her downstairs to make her some tea to calm her nerves.