Survived Me: a Shatter Me fan-fiction (Warnette)

Chapter 128 - I Promised I Wouldn't

AARON'S POV:

The meeting room is hotter than normal, being as it is only late winter, early spring, the weather is nice.

I don't know whether the temperature is the cause of my complete lack of focus, or if it's simply the terrifying thought of what my fiancee is going through right now. Maybe it's a healthy balance of both... Well, healthy really isn't the word to use in this situation.

"Warner!" Castle's voice echoes the room, bringing me out of whatever trance I let myself fall into. "Sir." He corrects himself once he knows I have regained control of my body and mind.

"Right," I breathe out, readjusting myself in my chair so that I am presented as more formal, "sorry, I was lost in my thoughts. What is it that you were saying?"

"That we have got to stop the search for Sebastian and Annie."

"No." Is all I can say, I grip the arms of the chair that I'm sitting on, the leather making a small and quiet squeaking noise. "Absolutely not."

Castle's face turns sour. "Mr Warner please look at this from a perspective where you have no emotional involvement."

I scoff, and at the same time Kishimoto does the same from the other side of the room. "Look, Castle," Kishimoto says, "I hate that I hate that I am going to say this, believe me, I hate it so much - but Warner is right." He takes another deep breath, before continuing. "You can't expect him to look at this from an unsentimental perspective, I mean come on man, that is the two people who are after his fiancee." He lets out a humourless laugh. "Plus, he is right. We can't call off the search for Devil One and Devil Two."

Castle clears his throat, "I know, but we haven't got the resources to continue."

"Resources?" I, once again, scoff. "Then get more resources! I'll do whatever it takes, we will not stop until both of them are dead - do you understand me?!" My voice almost shakes the room, the loud and thundering roar that escapes my lips is the same tone that I haven't used since being the Commander Of Sector 45 - it's the same growl that I used to address the soldiers - because of that, Adam and Kishimoto visibly flinch.

I focus all my attention on Castle, one again. "I said," I breathe out, sharp and intimidating, "DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"

Castle all but nods, softly. "Yes, Mr Warner, I understand you, but we cannot search the world for two people when we, quite obviously - with the kidnapping of you and Miss Ferras, don't have enough support to secure Sector 45."

He has a point.

But I have never cared about 'doing the right thing, even if it hurts the ones you love' - absolutely not. There is no way I am just going to sit here while those two are out there, while those two are alive.

"We all know that he isn't going to budge on this, Castle." Ian mumbles, in a surprisingly soft tone, compared to the normal 'mean' tone he possessives. "I don't really blame him."

Nodding, Castle agrees with what is being said, whether he is saying that to keep the people in the room happy - or he genuinely believes that - I do not know, I don't have the energy to read his emotions.

I feel lifeless.

I feel completely and utterly dead inside. I want to turn into the monster I once was. Without her here, it's as if nothing matters. Nothing matters now she is lying in a hospital bed.

A deep, long inhale is all I need to feel the pain in my chest - it is a tightening, gripping pain, like no other I have ever felt. My heart is packed with unimaginable pain.

I stand, the room has become a place so uninhabitable, I physically cannot stay here any longer. "I need a breather." I declare, making a quick and urgent exit, through the meeting room door.