I woke up to Troye climbing over me to get out of the bed. We had both fallen asleep together in the guest room bed last night. We didn't have sex or anything, we just happened to fall asleep together. Troye stood up straight once he was out of the bed and looked back at me. I smiled at him, he smiled back, and then I looked over at Tyler's bed to see if he was there. He wasn't. 'He probably fell asleep in the living room.' I thought. 'Thank god, he would've made such a big deal out of this.' I rolled over in the bed and faced the ceiling before hearing Troye speak. "I'm really gonna miss this place." he said. "Yeah," I agreed, "me too."
After breakfast, I got on my computer to check the weather for the next couple of days to make sure my flight wouldn't get cancelled. As predicted, Tyler had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room. I still couldn't believe that we were mad at each other because of Troye. Tyler and I had to fly back to California together, it wasn't going to be easy if we were gonna be mad at each other the whole way there. Though it is immature for us to fight over something like this, I still felt as if our friendship would not be the same of Troye and I continued with what was going on. It just shouldn't surprise Tyler that Troye and I have feelings for each other, he just needs to get over it. Plus, Tyler was way too old for him anyway.
It was actually insane to me how fast time went by while I was staying in the UK. This trip has been one of the best trips I've ever been on, ever. If Tyler just wasn't such a baby about every little thing, maybe it would have even been the best trip I'd ever been on.
I was sitting at the kitchen table with my computer and looked up to see Troye pass by and sit on the love seat next to the couch that Tyler was asleep on. 'Connah' I said to myself in my head. I didn't know if I didn't want to leave the UK, or if I didn't want to leave Troye. 'But why Connor? The answer is so simple.' I exhaled. 'I didn't want to leave Troye.'
___________________________________________________________________________
So, I'm extremely sorry for the short chapter. If anyone is confused as to what this note is, it's just a note where I express my thoughts, it isn't part of the fanfic, I just wanted to talk to you guys a little. If you don't care about me or my life at all, I suggest you just skip over this section.
First of all, thank you so much for all of the nice comments. You have no idea how much the support means to me, it's literally insane to me. This fanfic and account is a huge secret of mine and literally no one knows about it. I haven't told any of my friends, or anyone in my family. It's sincerely my secret.
I actually created this account immediately after Connor came out. The thing is, I shipped Connor Franta and Troye Sivan long before Connor came out, but I didn't tell anyone because I thought they'd think I'm weird lol. I have a long story as to why I shipped them way before, but I'll save that for another time :)
Anxiety:
School started for me about three weeks ago.
I don't have serious anxiety or anything. Like I love public speaking, I love being around people (most of the time), I'm very talkative and social, I love my friends, I'm not an introvert, but I'm also not an extrovert. I'm an ambivert.
If anyone is confused as to wtf an ambivert is, it's a person who has traits from both the introverted and extroverted side. So, that's me.
Going back a little, school started for me about three weeks ago, which means:
-Stress
-Stress
-Stress
- and more stress.
I'm in eighth grade this year, and I'm in all accelerated classes, which means almost all of my grades are going to be going onto my high school transcript. Can I just say, stressful asf.
I've been ripping me hair out (not literally) trying to keep my grades up this year. It's literally only been about three weeks, and I've had about ten tests. Now, most of these tests weren't too bad, but my math teacher is absolutely the most awful teacher. He's not a bad person or anything, and he's a good math teacher, he just doesn't teach.
In the math class I'm in, we have this system called the remediation system. The remediation system is a system where if you have any grade on a test (even a 99) you can retake it after doing a crap ton of work and try to get a higher grade than you did before. If you do worse on your remediation test, you keep the higher grade. Sound fair?
Sure.
Although, no.
In this class, the only thing the teacher grades is tests. So if you fail a test, congratulations, you're currently failing the class.
The remediation work is a lot as well. It would probably take about two sleepless nights to complete it with 100% accuracy.
Other than that, I took a math test two weeks ago and failed. So I spent hours and hours on the remediation work. I also had a test today, that I probably failed. And I have three math tests next week (because I have to redo two of them) I have another test the week after the next, and the week after that, and the week after that, ........and after that. I also want to add, that this class is extremely fast paced, if you couldn't tell already XD.
I have a 65 in my math class right now.
My teacher literally gives everyone packets of work, that he doesn't even check, and that he doesn't even ever go over. He expects us to finish it managing our own time in hopes of not falling behind, and then we take the test.
I told my orchestra teacher about this situation, because she's a close teacher that I feel comfortable talking to. She said this to me, "So that's like me giving you a hard song, not telling you the bowings, the notes, the intonation, the rhythm, the tempo, or anything, and then telling you to play it for me as a test grade." To which I responded, "Exactly. This class is set up so that if you don't have a tutor, you don't pass the class." Though I have people who understand where I'm coming from, nothing is changing.
I'm so sorry this turned into an entire novel of the issues in my life currently. This note is literally longer than the chapter XD My sincere apologies.
What I'm trying to say is, I'm so sorry that I can't update this fanfic as often as I did before, and I love that you guys are so nice about it. When I'm writing this fanfic I feel as if I have no worries at all, and when I read your comments, it just makes me the happiest person to know that there's actual people out there that enjoy this fanfic. Please don't hesitate to comment if you relate in any way. We can have a comments section full of love <3
This fanfic is just so insane. School is insane. Life is insane. I'm insane.
But hey, let's be insane together, shall we? :)
~HeyThatsMyOTP
