After my first show on tour, my dad, Jacob, and I all rushed back onto the tour bus.
Flashes.
There were so many flashes.
Fans taking pictures. So many pictures.
'Those are gonna be all over Tumblr later.' I thought.
I wanted to meet some of the fans, but unfortunately my next show was the next day, so we had to rush in order to get to the city on time.
When I got on the bus, I cooled down a little bit and then tried to take a short nap until we reached the next hotel. I was successful in falling asleep, but woke up to a loud "THUD!" about two hours into the ride.
The bus just broke down! Awesome! Fantastic! Amazing! Incredible!
Luckily there was a gas station about a half a mile away, so getting help wouldn't be difficult. It's just that we were stuck in the middle of nowhere for at least a good forty five minutes. I decided to get off the bus for some fresh air. Later that night I decided that getting off of the bus wasn't the best choice.
I sat on a nearby curb. The roads were completely isolated, so I didn't need to worry about getting hit by a car. It was cold though.
I was wearing a thin t-shirt, so the wind wasn't really playing in my favor. I looked up at a distant streetlight that was just close enough to observe the flicker. I began to rub my arms to get a steady system of friction going. This helped, but not enough.
I watched Jacob get off of the bus from where I was sitting, and I wish I hadn't seen him. I wish I had been surprised by the fact that he had approached me instead of me knowing that he was walking in my direction. Maybe I wouldn't have acted so passive and annoyed if I had been surprised. Maybe I wouldn't have had a shitty attitude towards him.
Jacob sat down next to me on the curb. I didn't say anything to him, but I guess it was even because he didn't say anything to me either. At first, at least.
A good seven minutes into the silence, Jacob broke it. "Hey."
I caught myself rolling my eyes, but Jacob didn't see me. "Yeah?"
"Um..." I felt the hurt in Jacob's voice. I was being rude. "You good? I mean, you just-"
"Yeah, I'm okay."
Jacob noticed me hugging my arms to stay warm. I knew what was coming. "Are you cold?"
I didn't respond.
"Troye."
I didn't respond.
"TROYE."
"YES I'M COLD. AND NO, I DON'T WANT YOUR JACKET. ALL HONESTLY I DON'T REALLY EVEN WANT YOU AROUND RIGHT NOW." I felt bad for saying what I said, but I didn't regret it.
"What did I do to make you hate me, Troye? I don't understand. If you could just tell me what I'm doing wrong, I can at least try to stop pissing you off. I thought you wanted me to tour with you."
I looked down at the pavement in front of me, still hugging my arms. "Troye." I remained silent. "Look Troye, I don't hate you. And I'm a little hurt, but I just wanted to make sure you were okay, alright? That's why I came out here on the curb. That's why I came to that dinner that night with your family. That's why I came with you on tour. I wanted to catch up with you, and make sure you were doing fine."
There were so many words in my head, but none were good enough to speak, so I said nothing. I felt Jacob place his jean jacket over me. "Now wear this god damn jacket so you don't get sick. You have a show tomorrow that fans are looking forward to." Jacob stood up and started to walk back to the bus. I could see the goosebumps forming down his arm. I let the jacket sit on my back for a few seconds before deciding to put it on properly. I called for Jacob before he got back on the bus. "Bixenman."
He turned around and faced me. I hesitated.
His stare was intimidating.
"Thank you."
Jacob projected a fake smile, nodded, and proceeded to get on the bus.
I ran back to bus and called for Jacob again. "Jacob."
"Yeah?"
"Ca-" I paused for a second to get myself together. "Can I tell you what's wrong?"
"Of course you can."
So I told him about the breakup, and I told him about everything. And he understood. It was a bad breakup. I was still heart broken from it, and he understood the situation completely. He was there to listen.
"Thanks, Bixenman."
"Anytime, Mellet."
