I entered my apartment through my front door and dropped my luggage onto the floor. Checking my watch, I sighed. "3:11 AM" I sighed. 'It's been a long two days.' I thought to myself. Without hesitating for even a second, I ran to my sofa to lie down. Luckily I was exhausted, so maybe my sleeping schedule wouldn't be entirely messed up. I closed my eyes and felt myself doze off.
I woke up around twelve PM the next day and immediately got up to make coffee. My bags were still lying by the front door. I was also still in the same clothes, and I felt disgusting. I sat on my sofa with my coffee, staring blankly at the black TV screen, thinking. 'How the hell am I going to stop thinking about Troye?' I thought to myself in such a way that sounded like it was a statement more than a question.
I finally brought myself to unpack and at least take out my computer. When I opened it up, it was still on, about to die, but still on. I had two percent, and my "Coming Out" video was pulled up. I quickly pulled out my Mac charger from my luggage and began to charge my computer. As it charged, I just stared at the screen. "Okay." I said out loud. "Okay." My finger hovered over the trackpad until I was finally dragging the mouse over the share button. I clicked it, and then hit export, then upload to YouTube. Before it started uploading, I made a really long description and uploaded the thumbnail that Troye had made for me.
As it was rendering and processing I decided to unpack and take an extremely long shower to contemplate my life. Though the shower helped a little bit with freeing my mind, a little bit wasn't a lot.
After my shower, I went back to my computer to find "Upload Complete" in the center of my screen, and I had never been more scared in my entire life. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I went onto my channel to check my notifications. I was in awe at the loads of support. 'I love my viewers so much.' I thought. I scrolled until I found the comment that read "You're disgusting you fag." I was about to reply, but then I figured that I didn't need to. Nice comments flooded in, drowning the mean ones. "Thanks Troye," I said out loud, "for everything."
I spent the next few hours just going through emails, comments, and checking my Twitter feed. I certainly was not going to bring myself to do anything today. My day had been filled with joy, freedom, and overall just uncontrollable emotions. The emotions weren't bad, however, until one Tweet ruined my day. In my video, I purposely left the name of the first person I came out to anonymous. But of course, being the attention whore he is, Tyler had tweeted, "Congratulations, Connor! It's been a crazy journey since that late night talk on my couch. Proud of you & how far you've come." I slammed my laptop shut. "What the hell?!" That was a personal thing that I didn't want anyone to know about. I told him not to tell anyone! 'He can't keep a god damn secret.' Why was he treating everything like it was okay too? I was still so mad at him. Didn't he know that?
And then I cried, and I was not ashamed. I cried until my phone jumped up and down on my counter ringing and vibrating. "Incoming Call from Troye" I picked it up and answered. "Hello?"
"Connor! Hi!"
"Hi Troye." My voice cracked from crying earlier, I soon could sense that Troye knew something was wrong. "Is everything alright? You sound upset......"
"Yeah."
"Well, before I ask, let me just say, congratulations, you've come a long way."
"Th-thanks."
"Okay, what's wrong?"
"I really hate Tyler."
"You're still in a fight with him huh?"
"Yeah."
"Did something else happen that I don't know about?"
"Yeah................. just now actually."
"Tell me, I'm here to listen."
So I told him. I told him about everything I said to Tyler on the couch. I told him about how I was mad because Tyler almost told him about me being gay before me. I told him about how I indirected Tyler in my video. I told him about Tyler's Tweet. I told him about everything. And it felt good. It felt so good.
Troye and I talked for hours, but then I realized that it was twelve AM. "Troye," I started, "as much as I don't want to, I have to go."
"I should probably too, it's twelve PM here in Perth. I should do something productive." We both laughed. "I'll talk to you real soon TroyeSivan18."
"Same to you, Mr. Franta." I was about to hang up until Troye began to speak again. "Wait," he said, "wait." I smiled. 'Wait,' I thought, 'for you Troye, I'd wait forever.' "Yes?" I asked him. "I have a secret." I felt myself turn very curious. "A secret?" I asked. "Yeah, but you have to promise not to tell anyone."
"Okay, I promise."
"Okay."
"Alright go ahead."
"I'm recording for an album."
"WHAT?"
"Yeah."
"TROYE THAT'S INSANE."
"I know. I'll give you more details later, but I can tell you that I'll be in LA real soon." I then felt every happy emotion wash over me. "You can stay at my place too." I stated. "Really? Thanks!"
"Yeah of course! Troye why wouldn't I let you stay with me?" He laughed. "I don't know." he responded, still laughing. "Okay, well, I should go." I said. "Yeah." Troye responded. "I'll talk to you soon." I said. "No." Troye said back immediately. "No? Why?" Troye laughed and then began to talk, "I'll see you soon."
