I groggily got out of the bed in the guest room today. 'No.' I thought. 'It can't be today.' I checked the date on my phone. It was today. I was leaving the UK. I was leaving Troye.
Breakfast this morning wasn't very lively. For the most part, everyone was extremely silent. Joe began to speak jokingly, "So, when are you guys coming again?" I smiled and looked down at my plate. I could tell that Joe didn't want us to leave, I didn't want to either. I was so sad about the thought of going back to my apartment. Nothing ever went on unless I made it happen. So empty. So lonely. I was by myself. I was alone. Tyler looked at Joe and replied with one word, "Soon."
Back in the guest room, I was packing up my belongings. "Connor," I was surprised to find Tyler join me. I said nothing and made eye contact with him. "Connor this is so dumb, I'm sorry." I turned back and continued what I was doing while responding with "Cool." Tyler exhaled. "You know Connor, I'm really trying here."
"I know."
"Yeah, we're mad at each other, but we're friends. Friends fight, so what?"
"So, you're just so insensitive."
"And that's why I'm apologizing."
"So you're apologizing after you've already ruined my entire trip, nice."
"I'm sorry Connor!"
"Yeah, well, I don't know if I want to be friends with someone I can't trust."
"Okay."
Tyler sounded really hurt. I was still packing when he responded to me, so when I turned around, I found that he wasn't in the room anymore. I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. There was even a part of my coming out video where he was mentioned, but I didn't actually use his name, so I wasn't directly addressing him.
After packing my suitcase, I looked around the guest room for the beanie. I tore up the room for about two minutes looking for it until Troye leaned into the guest room knocking on the open door. "We're leaving in five minutes." he said, wearing our beanie.
The last few things I packed were my Mac and chargers into my carry on bag. I carried all of my belongings into the living room and sat down on the sofa waiting for everyone else. Once everyone was ready, we waited for about ten minutes for the taxi to come. I was hoping it never would.
Troye and I both had different flights, which made sense because he was going back to Australia, and I was going back to America. But that just meant we would have less time together. I was going to miss him so much. The pain I felt right now was unreal and unbearable.
The taxi ride was silent as well. This was way too much silence for one day. In fact it was so silent and awkward, that the taxi driver turned on the radio. I'm glad he did, because otherwise it would've just been a super weird and antisocial car ride.
When we reached the airport, everyone got out of the car. Caspar and Joe couldn't come inside with us because they were taking the same taxi they took here back. "I'm gonna miss you guys so much." Caspar said, stretching out his arms for a hug from Tyler, Troye, and I. Joe began to speak, "You guys better tweet us and call, alright?" I laughed and gave Joe a side hug. "Don't worry, we're definitely gonna come back when we get the chance, I'm sure." I said to him. Caspar and Joe looked at me and smiled. "Have a safe flight boys." Joe said. "Thanks." The three of us replied. I watched as Caspar and Joe got back into the taxi. They waved at us through the slightly tinted windows. My eyes followed their taxi until it was out of sight. I don't know why, but I suddenly felt extremely disappointed and sad. "Let's go Connor." Tyler said, motioning for me to follow him and Troye. I stuffed my hands in my jacket pockets and trailed behind Tyler and Troye, looking down.
The airport security took a long time to get through, there were loads of people. They made Troye take off our beanie before he went through the sensor because they thought he was hiding something under it. I don't understand why it would've been an issue to just send him through and see if it beeped if he actually was hiding something. Sometimes airport security can just be a pain. Either way, since it took forever to get through security, we only had about twenty minutes until our flight. Troye had forty five minutes until his.
Tyler said bye to Troye and gave him a hug before we were even at our gate. He walked ahead of us and sat down in a seat in between two strangers so I wouldn't sit with him. It wouldn't have even mattered if I did sit next to him because we practically were strangers at this point anyway. Troye walked with me until I reached the gate. I was standing at the opposite side of the gate, away from Tyler. He couldn't see me and Troye.
"I'm gonna miss you." I said to him. "I'm gonna miss you too Connor." I hugged him tight, until hearing the intercom call for my flight. "Bye, Troye." I turned around and began to walk to the lady at the desk checking for plane tickets. "Wait." Troye then said. I turned back around to face him. "Don't say bye." Troye took off our beanie and put it onto my head. After he put the beanie on me, his hand was still on my face. "Then what should I say?" I asked. "Say see you soon." It was at that moment I felt his lips on mine. Sweet and soft. Eyes closed, and minds free, we were kissing. We both pulled away after hearing the intercom call a second time for my flight. "Then I guess I'll see you soon." I said, blushing. "I guess so." I turned away from Troye and walked to the lady at the desk. I didn't turn back to face Troye. I didn't want to cry. I tried to think of something to make me smile. 'Connah' I said to myself in my head before feeling a drop of water fall on my shirt.
