It had been a while, but I was still with my family in Minnesota, and though I thought it was a good idea to stay away from the internet, I couldn't keep myself away.
I checked the usuals, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube. On Twitter I noticed some tag called "Tracob". Being curious, I looked into it more.
There was a new guy with Troye. Already. It wasn't even Blessing.
If there's anything worse than a broken heart, it's a shattered one.
I went on Tumblr and looked further into the tag. Pictures of this guy known as "Jacob Bixenman" came up all over my feed. Pictures and videos of him getting onto the tour bus with Troye were popular as well. In a more recent picture, Troye was wearing Jacob's jean jacket. My ears were heated up. I turned a shade of red.
Jacob's features were very chiseled. He kind of reminded me of a statue you would find in a modern art museum.
Troye and I once went to a modern art museum together. 'Dammit Connor, stop.'
I did shed a few tears while scrolling through this tag, but it was a silent cry. One composed more of disbelief, and feeling betrayed. Upon further research, I found that he was a model from Los Angeles, but there was no information on his sexuality. Though I was almost certain there was some aura of interest between Troye and Jacob, I had hope.
Sometimes I hated myself for being so optimistic. This is because when things don't go the way you think they're gonna go, your world comes crashing down. I feel like we all have a sort of tiny universe inside of us, some people just have more fortunate ones than others. Life's an unfair game, so trying to cheat doesn't really change much.
I decided not to tell my family about Jacob. They didn't really need to know, at least for now. I wouldn't want them thinking that I'm still overthinking the situation with Troye. I'm supposed to be comfortable here, not tense.
I decided to get off of Tumblr and try to find inspiration for a video. Something like this shouldn't take up all of my thoughts.
After a few hours of wandering around the house and coming up with absolutely nothing, I stopped searching for inspiration. Inspiration needed to find me. And it did. Sort of.
As I sat down on a sofa to relax, a text from Tyler popped up on my phone. "Hey Con, saw the tracob tag on tumblr today. who tf is jacob?"
"Idk."
"Did u and troy break up?" I paused for a moment to give him a chance to fix his typo.
"*troye"
"Yeah, a while ago."
"Sorry :("
"It's okay"
"Listen, I was also texting to know when you'd be back in LA"
"Idk yet, probably soon though"
"Okay, we need to hang out again"
"Yeah, that'd be nice"
I texted Tyler for a little while longer before deciding to get off of my phone and get something to eat. 'Maybe all the inspiration I need is back in Los Angeles.' I thought to myself.
