Going Through Changes

Chapter 3: Living in Fear

 The picture on the right is Heather's foster mom, Julie.

Haven and I were moved into John's house and were staying in the same room because it's what I wanted.

One day I was asleep after a long day of John's sister taking me shopping.  I had a dream about John.  Haven was in the hospital and John was making sure I had everything I needed.  Then everyone disappeared and Jared was after me.

I woke up scared.  It was quiet, I couldn't hear anyone talking, no movement, just me.  Haven wasn't beside me.  It was in the middle of the night.  The door opened and John came in with Haven.  "Are you all right?"  He sat down beside me.  Haven crawled into my lap.  "Was it a bad dream?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want me to leave or stay until you go to sleep?"

"You don't have to."  Haven crawled under the covers.  "You need some sleep."

"Just let me know if you need anything okay?"

"Okay, thanks."

A week later, I was at work when John called me.  It was urgent.  I answered it.  "Hello?"

"Heather, Haven's being rushed to the hospital.  I'm on my way to get you."

At the hospital, I waited.  John was sitting beside me.  I was shaking.  Last time Haven was taken to the hospital was when Jared was around her.  John took my hand.  The doctor came in.  "Heather?"  I looked up.  "Come with me."

"Johnny, will you come with?"

"Yeah."

He came with.  Haven was dying.  She wasn't reponding to treatment and she didn't have much time left.  Everything began to spin and my knees grew weak.  John caught me.

Haven passed a month later.  John was with me throughout the whole thing.  He held me when I needed held.  He stayed when I told him to go.

After the funeral, while everyone gathered at John's house for the after funeral reception, I slipped passed John and went upstairs.  I felt his eyes on me.  I ran into John in the hallway.  "Are you all right?"

"Yeah I'm fine."  He caressed my cheek with his hand.  He tried to kiss me and I turned my head away.  I went downstairs.

6 months later, I was placed in another foster home.

I was at work one day.  John came in.  I was a waiteress at the town cafe.  When John sat down, everyone else was too busy so I had to go wait on him.  "What can I get you?"

"A date this Friday."

"We don't have that."

"Cheeseburger with fries and a milkshake?"

"What flavor of milkshake?"

"Chocolate."  I got him his food and he stuck around until I got off work.  I went out to my car and went to unlock it.  "So, do you not like me?"  I looked up and saw John leaning against my car.  "Heather, I've been here for you for 8 months.  If you don't want me around then just let me know.  I'll leave you alone.  I won't come back around to bother you."

"You don't know anything about me John.  If you don't want to hang around me anymore that's your choice."  I got in and left.  He watched me leave.  The worst part about the whole thing was, I was falling for him.  I loved him.

The next day, at school, I was studying in the library.  The chair beside me slid from the table and someone sat down in it.  John's cologne hit my nose.  He smelled so good.  "I'm sorry for what I said yesterday."

"What's said is done.  I'm not going to hold you back."  I so wanted to.

"What do you want me to do, Heather?  You're beyond gorgeous.  I can't stay away from you.  If you don't want to be with me then I guess I'll try to leave you alone, but I can't guarentee anything."  And just like that he was gone.

I got home and my foster mom was making dinner.  "Hey Julie?"

"Hey, hon.  What's up?"

"I don't know what to do."

"About what?"

"There's this guy?"

"John?"

"Yeah."

"Let me guess you love him."  I blushed.  "Tell him how you feel.  You can't keep living in fear just because you had a bad relationship before.  You know how he feels right?"

"Yeah."

"Go out with him and if the date goes good then tell him how you feel.  He's not going to give up that easily."