Failing To Quit (Niall Horan)

Breathe and Think

Spencer's POV

"Alright. You can do this. Just breathe and try to think." I mumble.

Eleanor had just left. I was going insane. I hope distraction or whatever was working. Maybe I should just tell Sam. No. If I do, he'll never let me live here. I mean, he doesn't control me. We can't live in the shadows with our relationship forever. I wanna go on a real date with him. One where the media wouldn't matter. If I'm still with Niall, I can't do that. This whole thing is so fucked up. I can't just leave my best friend.

I mean, if I quit this job, I can't still be friends with Niall, and I can be with Sam. I can't do that. If Niall says we were just friends, all the stupid rumors that people taunted him with before, would just come back. I call Sam.

"Hey! How's it going?" He asks.

"Pretty good. The, well, usual. You?"

"Missing you."

"Thanks."

"So what's up?"

"Well. You wouldn't care if Niall-"

"Likes you? Yeah I figured that was the rose on the kitchen floor was."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So, why don't you move in with me? Quit your so called job with pop star and we can be together."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I can't leave Niall."

"So you like him as well.''

"I don't know."

"Well then let me make this easy on you."

"Thank-"

"Either you leave that apartment or I'm going to find someone new. It won't be hard replacing you. Someone else will latch onto me."

"Don't flatter yourself Sam."

"It's the truth."

"Well I'm not moving out."

"Well I'm not staying with you. If you want to whore around then be that way. I thought you were different."

"Sam-" I start to say but the line clicks.

I lose it. I grab a pillow and throw it across the room in fury. I bury my head in the couch and scream. I feel the tears puddle on the couch and sit there, letting my cheeks wallow in the wet fabric. All of a sudden I feel really tired. Then I let myself fall asleep.

I wake up when someone is shaking my shoulder. I tell them to fuck off, but they just laugh. I recognize the laugh anywhere. Why was he back? What time was it anyways? I sit up and check the clock on the TV. I had slept for 5 hours. It was now 9:07pm.

"Hey. What happened?" He whispered and rubbed my shoulder.

"Nothing. It's fine now." I say and wipe my dried up face, trying to get feeling back to it.

"Is it about me?"

"No."

"Did that dick-"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Spencer."

"I said I don't want to talk about it." I raise my voice.

"Alright. Alright. Do you need a hug?''

"No I don't want a fucking hug."

"Fine. But I'll kill him if he made you cry."

"Go ahead Niall. The media would eat that up. Wouldn't they?"

"Don't pin whatever happened on me!"

"I'm going to bed."

"Wait."

"What?!" I shout and he hugs me. I cry into his shoulder and hug him back.

"It's alright. Calm down. Okay?" He whispers. I finally settle.

"Hey. Where's my pillow that's on this couch?" He asks and I point across the room. Both of us laugh slightly.

"Thanks." I say and hug him again and stay in his arms.

"So did he really dump you?" He asks and I nod against his shoulder.

"Idiot." He responds.

"Alright bedtime." I say and wipe any of the tears left on my face away. I miss one, but Niall takes him thumb and wipes it for me.

"Again. Thanks-"

"Don't thank me. That's what I'm here for. The best bud. The blonde guy that everyone likes to drink with. I'm used to it-"

"Stop it."

"What?"

"Talking yourself down. You're so much more. You're fun and caring. You're also crazy, hilarious, can make anyone smile, and your the best guy any girl can ask for." I blurt.

"Goodnight." He says and smiles. He walks to his bedroom door.

"What? No goodnight hug?" I joke.

He runs back, hugs me, and whispers in my ear, "All you have to do is ask."