Percabeth One-shots (Percy Jackson Fanfiction)

Goode AU pt. 5

ANNABETH CHASE

I tilt my head to the right before whipping it around to the left, trying to stop hearing Luke's voice.
"Annie?" Thalia asks.
I groan and mumble something incoherent.
I start to sweat when the group crowds around me. I try to scream at them to get back, that I'm claustrophobic but I can't get it out, I can't hear myself talk so I can't talk. I can't hear myself think, so I can't think. The only things I know is that I feel claustrophobic, Percy is trying to talk to me and there's a continuous drumming noise rattling around my brain. Except it's not a drum, or a bang, but Luke's voice.
"Annie."
"Annie."
"Annie."
Continuous. Torment. Soon more words come back.
I remember Luke talking to me, urging me to do things I want to forget. These memories resurface and I want to burn them in the fiery pits of hell.
Percy is crouched in front of me. I didn't even realize I had moved into a position closer to the ground. Maybe my body moved in an automatic reaction, like it thought I would collapse so to prevent injury I had kneeled. Or maybe I had collapsed. Just I hadn't registered it.
I start to realize more of my surroundings and of my own position. I'm kneeling behind my seat, about a few paces away so I must have stepped back to try to get away from them crowding me. My hands are clamped over my ears, my elbows locked together. Percy is now kneeling in front of me, speaking but I can't hear him. Or anything. Just Luke. It was always Luke.
I look up with my eyes, not moving my head to see a crowd around me, the group and a few other students I hadn't seen before. Of course I'm causing a scene. Of course everyone is going to crowd me. And of course if they don't move away soon I'll pass out from fear.

You see, when you're claustrophobic, you feel a heat everywhere. Every part of your body. Your head starts to swim, like you're going to pass out. You want to scream but you know that will just cause more of a crowd, people will look at you. It's hard to breathe and it's hard to calm down. I've learnt to always looking for a space, and to focus on that. Making sure I tell myself over and over that the space isn't moving. That the walls aren't going to suffocate me, that the people aren't going to trample me. But in this situation....
I see no gap. I can't tell myself anything without it sounding like nonsense. And I don't know what to do.
Percy puts his hands on my own and tries to extract them from the death grips at the sides of my head. I focus on him. If I don't look at the crowd maybe it will go away.
Yeah that doesn't work either.
Percy manages to move my hands, he must be really strong. He says something again but I can't focus on what he's saying. Luke is still speaking and I feel like I'm going to combust and suffocate from the heat.
Percy puts my hands towards our knees  but doesn't let go of them. He urges me to look at him. I can feel his fingers rubbing my hands, comfortingly. But this does not help with the heat I'm feeling.
"Claustrophobic" I try to say.
Percy looks at me confused. I can't hear over Luke!!!!
"Claustrophobic." I say again.
Percy leans forward to try to catch the word. I lean back anxiously. I repeat it and he leans back and nods in understanding. He says something and everyone moves back. I gasp and start to shake when I finally see that gap. I focus on it and try to drown out the unwanted words.
It doesn't work.
"Come on Annie, it's not going to hurt anybody."
"Annie"
"Annie"
"For me baby? Just take a little."
"Those girls were right about you."
"Annie"
"Annie"
"Wow you turned out to be a wild party girl Annie! Never expected this from you!"
"What's wrong with being a little dirty Annie?"
"Annie"
"The drugs won't kill you. They'll dull the pain."
This last phrase brings tears to my eyes. He was mostly correct. They did dull the pain. But he was wrong also. They ended up killing me. The real, innocent me. I recall this very conversation I had with Luke.
It was not so long ago. After my mother had died.
I remember that I ran to Luke right after I had heard the news. He had hugged me, and kissed me. I thought he was comforting me but I later found the video camera placed on his desk. The perv was taking advantage of me. Using my mother's death to become popular with his friends. He had offered me alcohol. And drugs. I had taken both. He told me after my initial refusal that they would dull the pain, that they would help. And they did. For a while. But then I became addicted. A 15 addicted to drugs and alcohol. What a sad, twisted world.

It wasn't long until I had been expelled. I was a rebel. A slut. A drunk. A druggie.

I was vulnerable and misguided. By Luke. And I'll never be fully okay. I have scars on my wrists and pills in my pocket to prove it. I even have a medical necklace around my neck. It brands me. As a forever drunkard. As that slut girl who overdosed on drugs. That girl who lost her mother. And spiraled off the rails.
At the time of my mother's death I needed someone to help me with my grief. Instead I got Luke.
He took everything from me. My academics, my innocence, my virginity, my respect for others..and myself, my schooling, my happiness, my sanity and my father. I know it wasn't Luke directly who took all of this from me, but it started with him.
He changed me, which made my father hate me. Loathe me.

So I learnt to hate myself. I'm unstable. And now everyone in the cafeteria knows this. One little nickname and I spiral back to my vulnerable state.
I feel my hands shake and my head aches for my pills. But I can't take them in this state. I told the doctors to trust me, that I wouldn't OD again. But maybe their trust was misplaced, and so was my own.

With one last wrenching blow, Luke's voice disappears and I hear silence.
But the silence is bliss.
...and short-lived.