• Forever •

Chapter 52

Chapter 52:

As I'm woken for the fourth time tonight by a nightmare, I slowly turn over to cuddle up closer to Peeta. When I go to bury myself into him, I can feel the tenseness radiating off of him. I slowly play with his hair, hoping it'll calm him down. He starts to murmur unintelligibly and I slowly and tenderly try to wake him. When he finally comes to, he looks at me exhausted.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"No, no you're fine." I reply, still stroking his bicep.

He falls back down, hiding his face in his hands. "I know you said not to but do you know how hard it is not to worry? That's all I do is worry about you!" He says rubbing his face in frustration.

I can tell he's getting worked up. "Peeta, please." I plead, sitting up.

I continue to soothe him. I play with his hair, I stroke his cheek, I even plant little kisses all over his face.  I feel his body release some tension.  I then bury myself in him and hold him tightly, trying to provide some stability to keep him here.

"Please Peeta, stay with me, don't leave."

He wraps his arms around mine. "Katniss I'm sorry, it's just I have these horrible nightmares. All the time. They are so real and vivid. It scares me to think of what could happen to you two, and I hate seeing my fears be brought to life." 

"Peeta, listen to me," I grab his face so he can see me and look me right in the eyes, "nothing will happen to me. We are going to be just fine. I need to know that you accept this."

"I'm fine, I am, but there are so many what ifs."

"Don't worry about the what ifs. Just worry about now. I'm here, I'm alive. Worry about that. Not the what ifs, please." I say.

He gives me a long, slow kiss on the forehead. "I'm fine, I think I'll be okay."

I hold his hand, firm, yet gentle, strong, yet loving. We fall asleep with some sort of peaceful mindset, ready to face our fears head on.

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Addy was begging us to go to the meadow today. I can't blame her, the weather is beautiful. Peeta and I were apprehensive at first, our last outdoor adventure didn't really go as planned, but in the end we agreed, telling her it would only be a short trip.  I brought a blanket to sit on and Peeta brought a sketch book. I really hoped he would draw, I love watching him do it. When we got there I laid out the blanket and sat down, Peeta next to me. At six months pregnant, the simplest of tasks are getting unbearable.  I need help getting up from the ground now, so when I sit, I try to find a comfortable position, since I won't be able to move for too long.

As soon as Peeta sits down next to me, Addy comes and whispers something in his ear. He smiles widely and says "Okay, just a second."

"I'll be right back." He gives me a kiss on the cheek and goes to take Addy's hand.

I watch them to see what they're doing. They stop about 15 feet in front of me, picking dandelions from the grass. Peeta, on one knee and Addy, picking them and showing him. I can see them talking, but can't here what they're saying. She shows him some and he gives her a big smile and nods. He starts to collect them in his hand and after he has a handful of dandelions, he ties them together with a piece of grass. He gives it to Addy, whispers something to her, kisses her cheek and then she runs over to me. 

"Here mommy." She says giving me the dandelion bouquet.  She wraps her arms around my shoulders and I hold her tight. "Thank you, Addy I love them." I look over her shoulder at Peeta, who is smiling widely. He gets up and starts to walk over here. When she breaks away, she says she's going to go pick more flowers.

Peeta comes to sit next to me and we both just stare at our daughter in amazement.  She is so full of life, so happy, no care at all. I'm glad that she gets to live a life that Peeta and I were deprived of. Peeta starts to draw her. He draws what I see now, Addy picking flowers.  The baby starts to kick a little and it startles me. Peeta notices and of course gets worried.

"Katniss, are you okay? Do we need to head back?"

"No, Peeta. I'm fine, the baby, it's kicking." I say.

I slowly take his hand and rest it on the right side of my stomach, where I feel the soft flutters and punches. He smiles and laughs.  He loves feeling the baby move, even with Addy, he loved it. He kept is hands on my stomach for a while, until the kicking stopped. Addy started to make her way toward us. She had a huge pile of dandelions that she collected. She set them on the blanket next to me and layer down in between Peeta and I.

"I'm tired." She said. 

Peeta laughed. I ran my fingers through her hair. 

"Do you want to go home?" Peeta asked.

"Yeah, I want to take a nap." She said.

Peeta looked and me warily and I just nodded my head, I didn't feels like dealing with the arguments and grumpiness today. We've been trying to wean her off naps, since the baby is coming soon. We decided that at 5, naps were getting too ridiculous.  I didn't want to have to try to put 2 kids down for naps at two different times, and they'd both be in different napping schedules. Just thinking about it stresses me out.  But today, I didn't feel like trying to argue with her so I just decided to let her.

When we got home, Addy immediately went on the couch to take a nap. Peeta just laughed and went into the kitchen to get a drink.

We both sat at the table and looked at each other. "How are you feeling?" He asks.

"I'm fine, just ready for this baby to be born." I say chuckling. I realized then, that we haven't done anything to prepare for this baby's arrival. "Peeta, we don't have anything done." I say.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean for the baby. There's no room, no clothes, nothing!" I say.

"Well let's make a list. What do we need?" He says getting a piece of paper and a pen.

"Okay, um we have all white furniture from Addy, we just need paint for the room. Clothes, but since we're not finding out the gender, probably just all greens, yellows, whites and maybe some pink and blue stuff." I watch him write down this stuff.

"Okay and probably less girly toys, since most of the toys we bought were for a girl." He says.

"Yeah, and we'll need lots of diapers, washcloths, burp clothes, more bottles and pacifiers." I say.

After that we have everything we think we'll need.

"Okay, how about I go and get some of this stuff, and you stay here and cook dinner and watch Addy." I say.

"Katniss, I don't know if I want you going out alone, especially if something happens." He says. 

I wrap my arms around him and kiss his cheek. "Nothing will happen, and I promise, I won't be more than two hours. And I'll even take the car, so I don't have to walk and carry stuff."

He kisses my head. "Fine, just please promise me you'll be careful." He says.

I reach up and kiss him long and hard on the mouth. "I promise."