• Forever •

Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

I sit in front of the fire. Sae has just left a plate of food in front of me. She said she was leaving but I didn't respond. I feel so alone. I sit in the same position in the same clothes as I did two weeks ago when I returned home from the Capitol. I don't know exactly how much, but as the days go bye I notice I've lost a considerable amount of weight. 20 pounds maybe. I know that if I sit here long enough, I'll die. I'm not sure if that's what I really want, but I feel like it could end all my suffering. Sae tells me that Prim wouldn't want me to be this way, but what does she know? Prim's dead. She gone. No one will ever know what she wants again. So I just ignored the thought. One day Haymitch stops by and tells me Peeta's been writing. I read all the letters and get kind of excited. It takes me three days to read all if them. By the time I've finished them, I know he's already home. So I go upstairs and shower. I brush my hair, change my clothes and burn my old ones. I want to leave my past behind and to do that I need to change. No one can do it for me. I have to. I decide that after dinner I will go and visit Peeta. I'm not really hungry so I go and lay down on the couch to take a nap. I have a horrible nightmare and I wake up to the sound of shoveling outside my house. Who is that? I think. I get up and open the front door, there I see Peeta planting some sort of plant in front of my house.

"You're back." I say.

"Dr. Aurelius wouldn't let me leave the Capitol until yesterday." Peeta says. "By the way, he said to tell you he can't keep pretending he's treating you forever. You have to pick up the phone."

"What are you doing?" I say kind of defensively.

"I went into the woods this morning and dug these up. For her." He says. "I thought we could plant them along the side of the house."

I look at the wheelbarrow with the plants in them. They're primroses. I can't hold it together and I let out a sound that I didn't know I could produce. It's a mix between a cry and a muffled scream. I run into the house and collapse on the couch bawling. I left the door open and I know Peeta could hear me. He stops shoveling and I wonder why. I figure it out when I hear steps walking through the door. Then he walks over to me he sits on the couch and rubs my back soothingly. It's right now when I realize I've missed his touch, warming my skin.

"I'm sorry Katniss, I should of asked before. I can take them back." He says.

I look at him and I see the pain in his eyes. It's not pain from anything I've done, it's pain that the Capitol has brought upon him.

"No Peeta, I love them. Please leave them, it's just, I miss her so much." I say continuing to cry.

Peeta take me in his arms and holds my head close to his chest, rocking me back and forth. I almost shiver at the touch. I haven't had physical contact with anyone in a long, long time, so this feels almost foreign to me.

"I know Katniss, I miss her too. But I promise she's in a much, much better place right now. And she's safe. Safer than she's ever been." He says.

I look up into his crystal blue eyes and say "Thank you Peeta."

"For what?" He asks.

"For everything. And thank you for what you said about Prim. You're right she's safe and happy." I say. He gets up to leave and I instantly crave his warm hand around me again. I want him to stay but I don't want to rush anything. We are both still so unstable, a relationship is not really our main priority right now. So instead I say "Peeta, would you like to stay for dinner?" It's almost seven but I don't care, hopefully he'll say yes.

"Sure, I'd like that." He says and I can tell he tries to hide it, but a small smile creeps onto his face.