• Forever •

Chapter 54

Chapter 54:

The next few hours are one big blur. Peeta comes home and of course, freaks out. He helps me in the car and goes to get our things. After a he's packed our stuff he rushes to the hospital and parks like a mad man. I keep telling him to calm down and not to get too worked up, the last thing I need is for him to have an episode right now. He leads me in the maternity ward and we are quickly rushed to a room. After I've been hooked up to all the machines and such, Doctor Matthews comes in to see me.

"Hello Katniss, Peeta. It seems the little one is eager to get out, huh?" He says.

"Yeah I little too early." I joke.

He does a few examinations with the ultrasound machine. He feels around my stomach, looks at my vitals, then writes some stuff down on the clipboard he has.

"Alright Katniss. So I have some good news and bad news." He says taking off his glasses. "The good news is we will be having this baby today." My face lights up with joy. "But unfortunately since the last month is when the baby slowly positions itself downward to get ready for birth, your baby is still facing up. So we will not be able to do this naturally. You'll have to have another cesarian." As he says this my face quickly deflates. "Don't worry though, you'll be in good hands. We're going to start prepping for surgery now, so you have about an hour." He says and walks out of the room.

My hormones are already at an all time high and this news doesn't help. I burst into an uncontrollable fit of tears. "Peeta, I don't want to have another surgery." I cry to him like a baby.

He comes and sits on the edge of my bed and caresses my face lightly.  He strokes back some hairs from my face. "Hey, listen to me. You have done this once before and you can do it again. I know it." He kisses me and it's full of salty tears and fear.

I wipe my eyes. "I'm just really scared. Last time I was in a coma for 2 days!" I practically shout.

"Shh, shh." He holds my hand and kisses it. "Calm down, you'll be fine. I believe in you." He places little kisses all over my hand.

My crying slows down a bit. "Peeta will you come here?" I say stretching out my arms. I scoot over as much as I can to make room for him.  He wraps his arms protectively around me and we just sit there until I have to leave. All I want in this moment is for him to comfort me. We sit for about 45 more minutes until Doctor Mathews comes back with a few nurses.

They hand Peeta some scrubs, since this time it's not an emergency C-Section, he is allowed to be there with me. They get me prepped and then I'm wheeled down to the operating room. When we go in they fashion a curtain type thing that starts around my breasts and is about 3 feet above my head. I guess it's so I don't see what's going on, not that I want to.  Peeta is standing next to me and is holding my hand tightly.

"Okay Katniss, we're going to numb you now. You'll only be able to feel your arms, hands, upper chest and face. Everything else you won't be able to feel, maybe just some movement, but no pain, okay?" He says over the screen.

"Okay..." I say warily.

A few minutes later I feel some pinches were they insert the needles. I've never liked that feeling, of needles entering my body, but I just have to deal with it. About 15 minutes later, they go to work. I can feel them roughly grabbing and poking things, it's such a weird feeling though.

"How you doing?" Peeta asks. He's been smoothing down the hair around my face for a few minutes now and it's really calming. I haven't let go of his hand since we've been in the room.  I kiss his hand and hold it close to my face.

After about 15 more minutes they say the baby's almost here. A couple of minutes later they pull out the baby and show me. My eyes well up with tears. It is the tiniest thing I have ever seen. It starts wailing and squirming.

"It's a boy!" Doctor Mathews says excitedly.

I feel hot tears of joy fall down my cheeks. They tell Peeta to come closer to cut the cord. He has silent tears running down his face as well. They clean off the baby and wrap him up. A nurse places him in my arms and I am in complete awe of my beautiful baby boy.  Peeta embraces us both and kisses me.

"We did it Katniss, we have a son!" He says crying.  "I'm so proud of you." He kisses me again. "I'm so proud." He kisses my forehead. The nurse comes back and takes him to get properly cleaned and measured. They tell me that since he is a premature baby, he'll be at the hospital for a few more days than me, since he'll have to be in an incubator. He also will not be able to sleep in our room, which breaks my heart a little.

The rest of the procedure takes about 45 minutes. I have to deliver the placenta and still get stitched up.  After that I'm wheeled into recovery.  Peeta never leaves my side. Bless his heart. He is so supportive and now I will have a mini Peeta to love even more. When we get back to the room Doctor Mathews explains that when the numbness wears off, I will be in a lot of pain. It will take a few weeks to be fully recovered. He tells me that we can keep the baby with us during the day but at 9 each night, a nurse will come and get him to go to the NICU to sleep in and incubator. 

"Katniss, I know this may come as shocking news, but I really don't think that having more children is in your future." Doctor Mathews says remorsefully.  "While we were removing the placenta, we discovered how thin your uterine lining is. That is a main reason your baby was born early, your body just couldn't take it anymore. With the complications of your first birth, with the breeched baby, and this premature birth, I don't think it would be safe for you or the baby, if you had more children. I'm really sorry." He says.  I just nod and thank him and he leaves.

I start to cry, yet again, and turn to Peeta. "I'm sorry Peeta." I say. He just embraces me. He rubs soothing circles on my back.

"Katniss, don't apologize." He says kissing my temple.

"But I can't give you anymore children." I say sniffling. I never really considered the idea of more children, but now that I know it'll never be in my cards again, it's depressing.

"Katniss, you've given me more children than I could've asked for. You said you'd never even have kids, and look where we are, with two!" He says. "Katniss, believe when I say I will never stop thanking you for this." He says kissing me.

I calm down a bit and we just sit and wait for them to bring our son back in. Minutes later, the nurse comes back in, wheeling a hospital crib. "Hello." She says. "My name is Mabel and I'll be you're primary nurse."

"Hello." I say politely. She reaches into the crib and pulls out our tiny blue bundle. She places him in my arms. He is much, much tinier than Addy.

"Well since I assume there is no name yet, we'll give you as much time as you need. When you decide, just push this red call button and it'll page me and then you can let me know and I'll finish the birth certificate. But please, don't feel rushed, just take your time." Mabel says.

"Okay, thank you." Peeta says.

I haven't taken my eyes off of him since she put him in my arms. He's been sleeping since he came in. "Peeta, what are we going to name him?" I ask.

"I've thought about a couple of names." He says. I feel terrible because I honestly hadn't.

"Okay, what are they?"

"Liam and Aidan." He says.

"I love Liam." I say. I look down at my son. I just stare and repeat Liam. " I think it fits." I say.

"Yeah me too." Peeta says smiling. "I was thinking his middle name could be James, after my father." He says shyly.

I almost cry at this tribute to his father. "Yes, Peeta I love that. Liam James Mellark." I say teary eyed.

When Liam opens his eyes for the first time I almost gasp. I expected to see the same blue as Addy, but instead I see myself. I see the same gray, Seam eyes that I see every day in the mirror. "Peeta look." I say. He looks into the eyes of our son.

"Just like his mother." He says smirking.

I yawn and Peeta obviously notices. "Here, let me take him, you deserve some rest." Peeta says. I hand Liam to him and lay my head back and close my eyes. The last thing I see before exhaustion takes over is my two beautiful boys; gazing at one another.