• Forever •

Chapter 19

"Oh my god." I silently whisper to myself.

I'm so scared right now because I know what it means when a pregnant woman wakes up with blood on her sheets.

"Peeta, Peeta wake up!" I say shaking him.

"What?" He says sleepily turning over.

"I'm bleeding." I say.

His eyes open and he looks down. "Oh my god. Okay let's go to the hospital." He says getting out of bed.

He puts on a hoodie and helps me with mine. After I get shoes on, he leads me down the stairs and out the door. We get in the car and drive to the hospital. The whole way there all I can think about is if the baby is okay. In this moment all my thoughts about not wanting a child have disappeared. All I want is for my child to be safe.

We get in and Peeta gets a wheelchair for me. He leads me down the hall and into the ER. Once we're checked in I sit on the bed and I can't stop the tears from coming.

"Hey," Peeta looks over at me, "It's going to be okay, I promise."

I slightly smile at him but it doesn't help. Nothing can comfort me now, not even Peeta's hand rubbing my back in assurance, or his thoughtful words. All I want is to know what's going on.

A doctor finally comes in. "Hello, I'm Doctor Matthews, what seems to be the problem." He says.

"Um, well," I say wiping tears, "I'm about 8 weeks pregnant and I woke up with this sharp pain in my side, and then I saw a small spot of blood on the sheets." I say.

"Okay well, I'm going to have to take blood and run some other tests and get back to you as soon as possible." He says.

Minutes later a nurse comes in and takes my blood. She hands me a plastic cup and tells me to pee in it. I do and bring back out. She said she'll be back as soon as possible.

We wait, each minute more agonizing than the last. Finally after about 15 minutes the doctor comes back with a clipboard in his hands. I can't quite read his expressionless face.

"Ms. Everdeen, I'm sorry to inform you that you've had a miscarriage." He says.

His words hit me like a ton of bricks. I start sobbing and Peeta envelopes me in a hug. I feel his hot tears hitting my shoulders.

"Shh, shh, it'll be okay." He says.

"We can just do the extraction process right here so if you're ready, we can begin." Doctor Matthews says.

"Um, sure okay." I say in between sobs.

He gets a few tools and the procedure takes about 10 minutes. The whole time I'm just thinking about what our life would be like with this baby, but I guess that's never going to be a reality.

He goes off to a room and comes back with a small black box.

"Here, if you don't want it, you don't have to take it." He says.

"We want it." Peeta answers for us.

He takes it and holds it tight.

"You can go whenever you feel comfortable." Doctor Matthews says.

"Thank you." Peeta says.

There is one question I have to know before I go.

"Doctor?" I ask.

"Yes?" He says back.

"Um what was the gender? I mean did, did you know?" I ask.

He smiles sadly and says "Yes, it was a girl." And walks out.

I know this will be hard on Peeta even more because he wanted a girl. Peeta wheels me out in a wheel chair and helps me into the car.

Once we start driving I say "I'm sorry Peeta."

"What are you sorry about?" He says.

"It's my fault, I wished it yesterday. I wished I wasn't pregnant." I say crying.

"Katniss, don't say that, ever. It was not your fault." He says angrily.

"We should name her." I say.

"Yeah," his voice cracks at the end.

It's silent for a while. As we're pulling into Victor's Village, Peeta says "Ivy."

"Ivy." I repeat. "I love it."

When we get out Peeta suggests we burry her. He does, right in front of our kitchen window. He moves a small primrose plant behind it.

I don't think I stop crying until I sleep. But I wouldn't really call it sleep, I just keep dosing off. I can't sleep because I know, that Ivy never got a chance. She never got to take a breath, walk, see, hear, feel, and I can't help think I'm responsible.

So, sorry to ruin your day with this chapter. I know,I know I guess I'm satan now, but it was important to the story. But trust me, it will get much happier than this, I promise.
Hope you liked it!

-Mel