• Forever •

Chapter 33

Chapter 33:
When I wake up in a start I don't feel the familiar warmth of arms around me. Instead, I find cold sheets and an empty pillow. Peeta must have fallen asleep downstairs then. I get up and walk quietly down the stairs, careful not to wake Peeta, if he's even asleep. If his night has gone anything like mine, the answer is no.

Once I reach the bottom of the stairs I see that it's around 3 am. Much too early for Peeta to be at the bakery already. I look into the living room and see that it is completely untouched. I check the bedroom downstairs and the kitchen, but he is no where to be found. As soon as I start to freak out and almost call Haymitch, I notice the front closet is open. In the front closet, there is an entrance to the attic, and in the attic, an entrance to the roof.

I slowly climb up the latter and peer my head up to see Peeta sitting on the roof just looking at the woods. I look up and see the stars are beautiful tonight and I figure that's why he's out here. I stare at him for a good five minutes and I'm surprised he hasn't noticed my presence. I decide to leave him be to cool off. I know he's mad and I would be too, so I should just respect that he wants some space. I quietly exit the ladder and head back up to my room, where the nightmares await me.

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I wake again with the sunlight shining through my window. I hear Peeta downstairs making breakfast. I know this is going to be a quiet morning. I make my way down the stairs and into the kitchen. When I sit on the stool by the counter, he looks up from waging his breakfast dish.

"Morning." He says tersely.
"Morning." I reply in the same tone.
"I left you some bread for toast but I should get going, I don't want to be late." He says and then walks out the door, his words hanging in the air.

He didn't kiss me or even say "I love you" on the way out like he always does. He just left. I decide I'm too furious with myself and my actions to do anything today, so I just stay home all day doing absolutely nothing.

I'd been sitting on the couch all day and didn't realize it was so late until Peeta walked in.

"Hey." He said as he briefly made eye contact with me and then made his way up the stairs. I could hear the shower going and in about 15 minutes he was downstairs again, his hair glistening.

"I'm going to start dinner." He states heading to the kitchen.

"Okay. I'm going to shower then I'll be right down." I say and head upstairs to shower.

When I get out I brush my hair and put on sweatpants and a hoodie. I walk down the stairs to see dinner on the stove, but Peeta is nowhere to be found. I go over to turn down the heat on the soup and when I get to the stove I see Peeta huddled up in the corner rocking back and forth with blood all over his hands, with a bloody knife lying next to him.

"Peeta..." I say quietly bending over him.

"I tried to get them to stop. They just wouldn't go away." He says.

"What wouldn't go away?" I ask.

"The flashbacks. They were different this time, they have been I just never told you because I thought I could get them to stop." He says quietly crying.

"What happened to your hand?" I say picking it up and looking at the 5 inch gash across his palm.

"That's the only way to stop it." He says. "To kill it."

He starts sobbing now. "Hey. It's okay. I'm here." I say caressing his cheek.

He pulls away. "But you're mad at me."

"No I'm not. I was mad, but not at you, about the whole situation." I reply. "Come on, let me clean up your hand."

I get a warm cloth and try my best to clean up the blood without hurting him. It doesn't look like it needs stitches but I got bandages to keep it covered for a while. I put peroxide on it and then wrap it. Peeta starts to doze off while I'm bandaging his hand so when I finish I usher him to the couch and he immediately falls asleep. I turn the soup on low and leave it on the stove. I decide to call Dr. Aurelius and ask about what's happening to Peeta.