Eclipse of Hearts ✔

33. Where To Go [Alyssae]

"You know they would banish everyone else for this, right?" her father sighed while they descended to the dungeons. 

"No one else has a daughter who is cursed by Thranduil," Alyssae grumbled. "Niamh doesn't have to die because that son of a -"

"Calm down, Alyssae. Save your anger for the moment you will see him again."

His words surprised her. It was not in their nature to seek for vengeance, but when she saw his petrified face, she remembered he cared just as much about Niamh as she did. 

"The day will come that I will have my revenge," she grumbled, although she could think of nothing that would compensate all the horror he had put her through. 

Her father opened the door of the cell. Alyssae stepped inside and lifted Niamh from the ground. The girl watched them in silence, then she wrapped her arms around Alyssae's neck and pressed her face against her shoulder. 

A moment later they reached the square. The moonlight shone upon Niamh's white hair, so that it looked like silver. Alyssae kissed the head of her little girl while she moved forward, without looking around. She slipped into the woods and took her child to a tower. In ancient times it had been a watch tower, but now it was covered by plants and high trees took away the sight at it.

She stepped into the musty-smelling building and lowered on the ground. Holding Niamh in her arms, she knew she couldn't stay here forever. She had been in the wildernis long enough not to miss her bed if that meant she could be with her daughter, but tomorrow she had to return to the community. She knew her father would prohibit a hunt for Niamh, but it would happen anyway. There were grudging parents who had lost their child thanks to Niamh. She had to take her child far away from here, but what place was safe enough? The child had developed in such a way that it was too late to control her blood thirst. It did not fit within her standards. 

Through the window she looked outside, to the dark sky. What would Thorin do? The Thorin she had known? The Thorin she loved? She didn't know. Niamh was a danger to the people around her and the people around her were a danger to her, but she didn't want her child to die. 

She however had the feeling she had to choose between Thorin and Niamh. Both seemed helplessly lost. They followed a path in a world she didn't belong, but still she wanted to free Thorin from his anger and numbness. It was however impossible to take Niamh with her during the journey. She could attack the crew or fly away! 

Alyssae felt ashamed, but she didn't know her child well enough to judge what she would do. She couldn't take the risk that she would murder one of her friends. She glanced at the pale face that rested against her breast. She looked so innocent Alyssae could barely believe she had killed three elves. A tear dripped down her cheek, while she looked at the moon again. 

"Thorin," she whispered. "What should I do?" 

. . .

The next day begun. Alyssae hadn't slept for a moment and was relieved when Niamh freed herself from her arms. 

"Where are we?" she asked in a soft voice. 

"Outside Chyndall." She took a deep breath. "You can't go back. I don't know where we will go yet." For a moment she closed her eyes. "Before all this happened, I wanted to go to your father. He - he does not know you are born."

Niamh looked at her intensively. "Where is dad?"

"Far away."

"Is he an elf?"

"A dwarf," she answered. 

Her eyes gleamed of curiosity. "Is that the reason I'm so different?"

Hesitating she nodded. The last thing she wanted, was telling her daughter that she was cursed. 

"Why is dad not here? Doesn't he love you anymore?"

Alyssae looked away, biting her lip. "I don't know."

She found it hard to have this conversation with her daughter. On the one hand she really behaved as an adult, but she was still three years old - even younger, when counting since her birth. She needed a father and a mother.

"I bet he doesn't want to see me." Niamh stared at her feet.  "Everyone hates me. That's why I can't go back."

A tear slipped down her cheek and Alyssae took her girl in her arms again. "They just don't understand you, Niamh. You father will. You are his child."

Niamh looked up. "Perhaps he doesn't  want a child."

"Of course he will," she hushed, pressing another kiss in her soft hair. Although she knew deep inside that Niamh's doubts were not inferior to hers.