Eclipse of Hearts ✔

Chapter 55. [Thorin]

Thorin wished she would leave, for she only made his headache worse. He would never kiss her lips again, without being reminded of the fact that he had beaten a tooth out of her mouth, although he doubted that moment would ever come. He didn't even know if she still wanted him. 
Would there change anything if he admitted he still loved her? He believed he still did, although he didn't feel anything right now. He just wanted to be left alone with his headache. He didn't want to see that hurt look in her eyes, nor that sad smile around her lips. He didn't want to feel ashamed of himself, although he did not know how he could regain his dignity. 
"You must be hungry," Alyssae broke the awkward silence.
Thorin leaned with his head against the wooden beam and stared at the ceiling. Great. Did she wanted to feed him? "Get Aymara." 
"Why?"
He shrugged. She could come up with a reason herself, right? He wanted to be fed by anyone but Alyssae. "I rather look at her."
It was not a lie, although it wasn't because he thought Aymara was more beautiful. He dared to peek into her eyes, but she stared at him, as if she wanted to see the truth.
"You want me to leave?"
"Yes, I do." He answered so quickly he even surprised himself, although he knew he would miss her as soon as she went through the door. His mind couldn't find any rest. Whether she was around or not - she never left him completely. 
"Is there nothing you want to know? How the last years have been? Where our daughter is? What she looks like?"
He sighed when he saw the tears jumping in her eyes. He was not really waiting for this. "Not now," he grumbled. "I have the feeling my head could explode at any moment. I can't bear much more."
In silence she scraped with her shoe over the wooden floor, but looked up then. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Leave."
"Fine." She watched him with a devastating look. "Do you still need Aymara?"
Thorin took a moment o think. He was very hungry, but he didn't want to see Aymara. 
"No. Ask Iorwen."
"I can feed you without saying a word."
He rolled his yes. "I doubt it."
"By the gods, Thorin," she snarled. "Can't you act a little more friendly?" She bend her knees and grabbed his face, looking furiously into his eyes. "Somewhere within you is still the man who played the harp for me. The man who asked for a kiss."
"And the man who always fears to hurt you," he complemented and he squeezed his eyes. "Although you couldn't care less, for you keep coming back, as if you believe it's exciting."
His face snapped aside when she hit him. "Sometimes you really are a son of a bitch."
Thorin kept looking at her. "You clearly like them, otherwise you never had turned down Thranduin."
Her face was so close to his. By Durin, he wanted to kiss her so badly. Her scent drove him to madness, but there was at least one emotion he wanted to keep in control. Although he couldn't move his head enough to come closer. 
"That I love you, doesn't mean all assholes are my weakness." She turned her head a little. "Although I seem to attract them."
Something seemed to make her even more furious and he raised his eyebrows. "That captain of yours already showed you what was hidden behind his mischievous smirk?"
She stared at him, her eyes ice cold. "I referred to the fact that our dear Thranduil sent me a proposal."
Thorin's mouth dropped open. "Oh..."

Sorry for the words like 'son of a bitch' and 'assholes', for I know these words do  not belong in such a setting. My  English vocabulary however sucks a little, so if you know words that fit better, please tell me!