Eclipse of Hearts ✔

Chapter 107. [Alyssae]

Alyssae looked at Thorin, resentfully. "That was a very different situation! There is no reason to leave the past to rest if I can bring back Fíli, Thranduin and our family!" She shook her head and laid her hands against his cheeks, hopelessly. "Why are you so fiercely against this, Thorin?"
Thorin sighed. His eyes were bright and Alyssae realized he had been sober all that time. 
"You are making to much sacrifices! Our daughter will not even exist if Thranduil will not curse you."
"That makes me sad as well," Alyssae mumbled. "But she isn't with me now either. She might even be dead!"
"She's not," he answered with a certainty she did not understand. Before she however could ask any questions, he continued: "I don't want you to marry him and I am not leaving without you. You have abducted me when I was lost and I am going to do the same with you."
Alyssae pulled back her hands and crossed her arms. "You are not going to force me to do anything. You don't have the right."
"Neither had you." He fell silent for a moment, but then he seemed to lose his temper. "I just can't believe that you throw yourself to - him. Voluntarily." He stamped through the room and smashed her belongings from the table. "Have you considered, just for a moment, how I feel about this?"
"Of course!" she protested. "That is why I emphasized you should not come."
He looked up furiously. "You really think that makes a difference? I am not quietly waiting in my kingdom while my wife is marrying some else!" He shook his head. "I thought that we would have a future together, Alys! I gave up everything for you and now you just shove me aside! And for what? For our arch enemy, who tortured me in this place. Who demanded the Arkenstone from you and ruined everything for us! Do you really think he will give you everything back now? That skunk is using you and you leave all of us behind. Let Thranduin and Fíli where they are, for that place is always better than this cursed earth, where I can't even trust you anymore! 
Alyssae froze when she saw the tears that ran down his face. That expression of sadness had a bigger impact than his words, that still had to subside. 
Thorin looked up again and took her hands. "You have hurt me and I have hurt you, but I don't want to live without you anymore, Alyssae. I want to put a ring around your finger. I want to stand by your side in hard times. I love you like I've never loved someone and I want to be egocentric for once and only do things that are important for us. 
A lump had appeared in her throat. She wanted nothing more than repeating his words. Did he mean more to her than Fíli and Thranduin? Was her love more important than her guilt? 
That was how it should be, but it still felt wrong. The grasp around her hands tightened and he pulled her to the bed. 
"I love you," he repeated. "And he never will."
As a last makeshift to override her, he pulled her on the bed. His lips found hers and he kissed her tenderly, while his fingers stroke through her hair. "I want you," he whispered. "I always wanted you. Only you."
His blue eyes looked into hers. Even though they had slept together before, a shiver crept down her spine. Her inside was burning of desire while kissing him back, so furiously as the doubts racing through her mind. She had missed him so much. His careful touches and his deep voice. His rough fingers and the lips she had ached to for so long. His breathing smoothing her neck and the fragrance that filled her nose, that was indescribable but so recognizable. 
"We've gone through so much," he whispered, brushing her dark her behind her ear and pressing kisses on her auricle. "Can't we just stop searching for trouble en just do this..." his lips wandered to the dimple next to her collar bone "... all day long?"
Alyssae giggled a little nervously. It sounded wonderful, but so surreal. 
"You have to go," she whispered. "If Thranduil sees you, he will lock you up."
"Shut up for once," he grumbled, although his eyes lit up. "I don't want to hear his name anymore." His fingertips touched her arms, goose bumps rose and he started to kiss her again. "I want to be yours, Alys, and I want you to be mine. Forever."