Eclipse of Hearts ✔

Chapter 52. [Thorin]

Thorin could barely process the words that she was saying. His headache felt like someone was continuously hammering his skull. Alyssae had sent him letters and someone had kept them away from him. And he had a child. 
"But... how?"
He felt ashamed because he could do nothing but whisper, but he felt so weak he was afraid to cry. Something he didn't want at all. He didn't want to collaps in front of her.
He forced himself to look up. As usual her purple eyes tried to confuse him, but he tried not to give in. "I thought you couldn't get pregnant."
"Thranduil was wrong."
Thorin watched her face. She didn't look happy at all. He couldn't fully realize what she was saying. A child? He never thought it would have come this far. He was more than two hundred years old. It was unusual to father children. 
He took a deep breath, being aware of his hands that were bound to a pole. He couldn't even hide his face behind his hands. "So we have a child?"
He still expected all of this was a miscommunication, for it meant he would have a child that was more than three years old. He didn't know if he could handle it, to see a child dat was apparently his. He had the feeling he had to puke and his head felt so light that he feared he would pass out.
"Do you want to free me?"
He was surprised by his own question. It was a long time ago he hadn't commanded something like that, but he was completely confused. 
Alyssae nodded. She knelt next to him and loosened the ropes around his wrists. From the corners of his eyes he watched her. She was a mother. For three years she had raised a child, all by herself. He rubbed with his fingertips over his skin when his hands were freed. He however lacked the energy to come upright and he looked away uneasily when Alyssae sat down next to him. He had clenched his fists and stared at the wall. His eyes burnt. Someone had betrayed him and it felt like he had lived a lie for years.
"Is it a boy or a girl?" he asked grimly. 
He couldn't look at her, and fortunately she didn't force him. 
"A girl. I called her Niamh."
It was a beautiful name, even though it sounded very elvish. He however couldn't repeat her name. He couldn't say anything at all. Somebody had tried to take his child away from him. Someone he knew. Someone he trusted.  
He wanted to let go of his anger, to break something, but he knew Alyssae would be in danger and he didn't want to lose himself in front of her. Not now he knew that she was the only one who was honest to him. 
"How is she?" he asked after a long silence. He dared to look aside quickly, but when he saw the look in her eyes, his lower lip started to tremble. "Go away," he said harshly, blinking away his tears. "Go away!" he screamed. His voice cracked when she kept sitting anyway. 
He in- and exhaled deeply. His headache was so heavy it made him mad. 
"I mean it, Alys," he grumbled. "If you stay, I will hurt you."
He sounded so desperate he wished he could disappear, but it was the truth. He didn't want to hurt her, but then she had to leave. 
A red veil fell before his eyes and there was so much anger inside him that he pulled up himself with the pole he was bound to. Splinters cut into his hands. 

He heard her voice, but her words didn't reach his mind. Why didn't she listen to him? It only made him more furious and he knew that he would lose control again. And this time there were no bottles he could throw against the walls...