Eclipse of Hearts ✔

Chapter 39. [Alyssae]

"You better go to the cabin," Eldinòr said when the wind increased in such a way the cards were blown away.
Alyssae hesitated. The wobbling of the ship made her feel sick and that would only become worse when four walls would take away her sight.
"I don't want..."
"I don't care," Eldinòr gave her such an obtuse answer she looked at him in shock. His face was stiff and Alyssae wondered if the weather made him more restless than he wanted to admit.
"You do as I say as long as you're on my ship."
She opened her mouth to raise a protest, but he came upright and grabbed her upper arm. His eyes met hers and they expressed a cold anger. "Whether you've royal blood or not, on this ship I'm the one that must obeyed. A drowned princess won't get me anywhere!"
With large steps he walked to the cabin. He opened the door and pushed her inside. "Stay there until I return."
He banged the door. She heard him yelling orders to his crew. A little gloomy she sat on the bed. His words echoed in her head.
A drowned princess won't get me anywhere.
Was that how he thought about her? Was she only a rich woman that could make him richer? It hurt, for she had considered him as a friend. She had entrusted her life to him.
She lost her balance when the ship swerved aside all of a sudden. She grabbed the edge of the bed, kept laying there, staring at the ceiling and fighting the sudden nausea. What happened when they stranded? Would they capsize?
Panic attacked her. Would she only notice so when the water streamed beneath the door, while she was stuck? Would she drown, here in this disconsolate room, that belonged to the captain of this ship?

Alyssae looked up when the door opened and Kíli and Dwalin slipped in.
"They're afraid we are blown of the ship," Kíli grumbled.
Dwalin said nothing at all. His face was pale and before he could even take a step, he bowed forward and a horrible noise filled the room. Alyssae looked the other way, but by the hearing of Dwalin's noises and the falling fluid her own stomach became restless as well.
Kíli glanced at his friend, but stepped past him and sat down next to her.
Alyssae had curled herself up on her side. She tried to think about pleasant memories, so that her attention wouldn't go to Dwalin's retching and the soar scent, but her stomach shrunk anyhow. Gall burned in her gullet. She felt really, really horrible and before she knew it, tears streamed down her face. What had she done? If she felt so beaten by the weather, how on earth would she be able to look Thorin in the eyes? She felt like a small child that was longing for two protecting arms, but everyone was too busy with his own problems to care about her distress.

When the door finally opened and sun light streamed inside, Alyssae barely noticed. There was a horrible stench in the room, vomit that wasn't just that of Dwalin. She had thrown up so often that there was no strength in her body left. She was completely broken and was tormented by shame. She hadn't even enough energy to raise her head.
"It's over," a voice sounded.
Alyssae didn't answer, but stared mindless forward. Only vaguely she realized Eldinòr lifted her up and carried her outside. The fresh air made her feel better immediately.
"Make sure she can eat something."

Alyssae kept her eyes closed while her head rested against his chest, that felt clammy by the water that had rained over him. A wet tissue brushed her face and she realized there must be strings of puke everywhere. She found it horrible he had to see her this way, on a moment she was totally worn out. "Never ever send me there again," she whispered. Her throat felt soar and the taste in her mouth was so disgusting she didn't dare to add another word.
The anger glance had disappeared from his eyes, had made place to his worries. That sudden change made her think of Thorin. Maybe they shared more characteristics than she had thought. Would that be the reason she felt something for him?
"That was the only place you would have been safe, Alys," he answered. His finger followed the curve of her auricle and her breath choked by that tender touch. He wasn't Thorin, she told herself. The glance in their eyes might be the same, but that was the only similarity.
Eldinòr took a bowl and reached the spoon for her lips. Alyssae watched him baffled.
"Open your mouth," he insisted.
She didn't want to be fed, but she felt too weak to say so. Slowly her lips moved away from each other. When he carefully shove the spoon in her mouth, she realized this was the diligence that was so deep hidden in Thorin that she didn't even know if it had really been there.
For a moment she closed her eyes. She had to stop comparing him to Thorin. What would it help? Thorin wasn't the man he once had been and Eldinòr could't take away that emptiness.
Not forever.