From RJ [25 December 2015 11:53PM]
I just want you to know that you're my last thought tonight. Happy Christmas, Dei! --Junior
To RJ [25 December 2015 11:54PM]
Ang keso mo. Happy Christmas, Junjun!
To RJ [31 December 2015 11:43PM]
Tell me, bakit bawal magpaputok pero okay lang magbenta?
From RJ [31 December 2015 11:44PM]
Ha ha
To RJ [31 December 2015 11:46PM]
Seryoso. Logic please.
From RJ [31 December 2015 11:46PM]
Tanong mo sa presidente, wag sa'kin hahaha
To RJ [31 December 2015 11: 59PM]
Che! Happy New Year, Tisoy!
From RJ [31 December 2015 11:59PM]
Happy New Year, Meng!
To RJ [02 January 2016 11:59PM]
Happy birthday, Richard :))
From RJ [03 January 2016 12:01AM]
Ang saya ng birthday ko grabe,.. malamig na fries plus crappy coffee in the middle of a traffic jam early in the morning. Thank you, Maine. I appreciated it more than how much you can think of.
From RJ [14 January 2016 5:26PM]
Hey, last minute changes lang sa site. Will pick you up later na lang sa condo nyo, okay?
From RJ [14 January 2016 5:26PM]
Wag mo kong mamiss agad ;)
To RJ [14 January 2016 5:27PM]
Sure
To RJ [14 January 2016 5:27PM]
I meant di kita mamimiss
To RJ [14 January 2016 5:27PM]
Ang landi
To RJ [14 January 2016 5:27PM]
Hu u
To RJ [14 January 2016 7:09PM]
Hey
To RJ [14 January 2016 7:10PM]
San ka na?
To RJ [14 January 2016 8:57PM]
Eleven yung flight natin ah in case you forgot
To RJ [14 January 2016 9:43PM]
Gutom na ko ano ba
To RJ [14 January 2016 9:57PM]
Legal pa ba 'yang overtime na 'yan?
To RJ [14 January 2016 11:16PM]
Flight is four hours delayed. Swerte mo. I'm leaving the door unlocked. Pasok ka na lang. I'm waiting.
I waited for you like I always did whenever you were running late because of the nature of your work. I know your schedule was unpredictable. There could be last minute changes sa design, delayed purchase orders from suppliers, late quotations, workers' personal problems, employer's changing their minds every now and then, the weather. But you always saw to it that you'll come. You always did.
I waited for you that night. We were scheduled to fly out of the country at around eleven in the evening. You said I could just wait for you in my unit, and then we'll go. We were supposed to cross another item out of your bucket list. I waited all night. You never came.
I was so pissed at you for keeping me waiting that long. You didn't even bother to send a text or make a call. You could have at least told me you can't come, right? But you didn't. Hours passed by, nine, ten, eleven... I ate microwaved Mac 'n' Cheese for dinner. Watching TV shows bored me to death, I fell asleep on the couch. Still, I was waiting.
Until Nanay came barging in the unit, frantically telling me to get up because we were going to the hospital. You were involved in an accident at your site.
You know how I hate Nanay because of what she did, but seeing her panic like that, I couldn't help but feel for her. And dread. Fear of not knowing what and why. I remember us rushing to her car; the drive was painfully quiet aside from me muttering colorful curses and her side glancing at me every now and then. We arrived only to be greeted by Kuya Nico talking to Nanay's bloody fiancé, and Tito Richard, sat at one of those uncomfortable plastic chairs, calming a crying Riza down while keeping his sobs to himself.
You tackled one of your workers away from that collapsing column you were constructing, one or two or even three (I don't know), of those steel bars went through your chest. It was heroic (props to you, you crossed Be a super hero out on your own!), but it cost you you. You're gone. Just like that.
Everything was a blur after that. I remember begging Nanay's fiancé to bring you back to life, crying at your funeral, immediately flying out to New York with Kuya Nico after. I didn't eat nor sleep. I don't recall much after being told they couldn't do anything to bring you back really. I became numb. I didn't feel anything. Just the sense of nothingness you left. I was void of anything.
Ang daya mo naman kasi, RJ. Ang daya daya mo. We were supposed to do more things together. May mountain hiking pa tayo, midnight road trip, Disneyland, country-hopping. You wanted to be the best civil engineer out there, design my house for free if I admitted that I had a crush on you long before you had a crush on me. I didn't pero sige magsisinungaling ako bumalik ka lang. You were supposed to buy your dad a new car so you can call his old pick-up truck yours. You wanted to be there for Riza's graduation, cheering, taking pictures in the middle of the isle while sinasabitan s'ya ng medal ng dad mo. Paano na 'yung mga 'yon? Paano na 'ko?
I did not get to say goodbye. You just up and left. 'Di ka man lang nagpasabi. Nang-iwan ka sa ere, RJ. Iniwan mo 'kong naghihintay sa wala. Tangina mo, gago ka. Hindi dapat ganon.
I hate that I love you because I can't hate you. Get it? Bastard. I hate you for leaving me. But I love you. And that cancels the hate.
I missed you. I cried every time I remember, every time I unconsciously think of you. Every freaking time. I still do. Not as often, not as hard, not as pathetic, but I do. I miss you.
After some time, I started feeling okay. May kirot parin when I remember, hindi na ata mawawala 'yun. But I started functioning again. I started waking up early in the morning to jog by the beach. I started eating healthy again. I can talk to people now. I would call Tito Richard and Riza every night when I think it's reasonable hour enough in the morning at your house. Nanay, though I still feel betrayed (I'm trying to be more rational, okay?) would come visit every now and then. Rick, her fiancé, calls to counsel me twice a month. Tatay and Kuya Nico are proud of my progress. I hope you are too.
It's what—wow, 6AM na. Time flies when you're with someone you love nga naman. I feel you're your presence when it pours. Especially when it pours. You're my rain. Chos. Ang keso.
Finally, nakakaaninag na rin ako kahit konti sa labas. I'll just wait for this storm to pass by. I'm coming home! It's Riza's graduation, and she wants me there. Proxy mo daw kasi wala ka. I said yes because why not, di ba? Hindi lang ikaw ang pwedeng mamiss. And malapit na rin yung birthday ni Tita Rosa, maybe I can visit her too. Ikaw din. Would you like that? I hope you do kasi booked na 'ko for later and wala ka ng magagawa. Belat.
I'll see you soon. I love you.
