Maine could no longer ignore the insistent knocking on her door so she reluctantly gets out of bed. She and Alex haven't spoken since their disastrous break-up so she doubts that this is her even as she gets her hopes up.
Her heart nearly thuds out of her chest when she sees RJ standing outside her door. He's been trying to reach her but she didn't feel like she was ready to talk to him. Now, she didn't have a choice.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Come in."
He sits down on his favorite spot at the end of her couch. She sits on the opposite end.
"So..."
"About what happened..."
They start to say at the same time.
"Jinx!" they both shout.
"Double jinx!" they say in unison.
They laugh at their own ridiculousness.
When it subsides, it's RJ who talks first.
"Maine, I'm sorry about what happened."
"RJ, don't apologize. It was my fault. I asked you."
"Yeah, but...I could have said no. I wasn't drunk. I should've —"
"RJ," she cuts him off, "we could go over the should haves and could haves all we want. But the thing is, it already happened and there's nothing we can do about it. So let's just forget it ever happened and move on," she says gently.
"That's what I thought you'd say," he says in a resigned voice. "But before we do that, can I just tell you something? I just...I know it wouldn't make much of a difference but I just need you to know."
She nods.
He takes a deep breath.
"I love you, Maine. I never stopped loving you. Even after we broke up. Even after I found out that you play for the other team. Even after I met Alex and saw how in love you were. I never stopped. I didn't want to. Because you're the most amazing person that I've ever met and loving you fit me like a second skin. It was comfortable and easy. Even if you didn't feel the same way. But now...now I feel like we've reached a sort of impasse. I don't think it's possible for things to go back the way they were. It wouldn't be fair to you. It wouldn't be fair to Alex. It wouldn't be fair to me. I think we should stop seeing each other. Cut off all ties. Just give ourselves space. It would help me move on and it would make things a lot less awkward for you."
"Just so you know, Alex and I broke up."
RJ's eyes widen. It taked a few seconds for the news to sink in before he's on her side of the couch, hugging her.
"What happened?"
She tells him.
"Well," he says after she finishes, "that could've gone better. Pero alam mo, proud ako sa'yo. You finally stood up for yourself."
She gives him a weak smile. RJ never failed to see the good in her. Never made her feel about herself. He was always so suuportive. And he loved her so much. She knew. Of course she knew. How could she not? It was in the way he looked at her, the way he said her name, in his actions, the way he took care of her. She felt it. And as much as she wished she could love him the same way, she can't. She's been selfish for too long, letting him stay by her side because she needed him as a friend now she could see how much it hurt him. She can't keep hurting him anymore.
"RJ. I love you. You know that. It sucks that it's not the kind of love that you want from me, but please know that I do. You're my bestest friend in the whole world and I want you to be happy. Being close to me won't help with that. So please, take as much time away as you need. I'll still be your friend when and if you decide to come back."
"I love you, Maine," he says for the last time.
She kisses him. It still doesn't feel right but she doesn't do it for her. She does it for him.
"You need someone who'll love you the way you deserve, RJ. Unabashedly and wholeheartedly. I can't be that for you. You'll find her, RJ. I know you will."
