Author: rrfj_ndcm
Prompt: I can't give you what I don't have.
Prompter: kriminal_kat
She was four the first time Maine got an inkling that maybe she was unlike other little girls. Her best friend at that time, Lily, ran to her, giggling because the cutest boy in pre-school had kissed her cheek. The idea grossed Maine out. Boys were icky and sticky. Why would anyone want to be kissed by them? Blech. But one by one, the boy kissed every single girl in their class and all six of the little girls found it either funny or ignored him completely. When he kissed Maine's cheek, she got so upset, she cried. She threw an actual tantrum because that kiss from the little boy felt wrong. That was the first of many kisses that would end up disappointing her. When she was growing up, she always felt uneasy, as if there was a part of her that was missing but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.
Maine was always one of the prettiest girls in class with her glossy brown hair, big doe eyes, caramel-colored skin, and pouting cherry lips. She didn't have a shortage of suitors but she never felt an ounce of kilig from any of them. Not one. But because all her other friends were getting boyfriends, she felt pressured to do the same. She was 16 when she had her first boyfriend. He was tall and fair-skinned; he made her laugh, let her copy his math homework, and talked with her endlessly about books, movies, and music. He was also really, really persistent. So when it came time for her to choose from her manliligaws, she picked him, not because she loved him but because on paper, he was the best one.
RJ was ecstatic. In his eyes, she was the most beautiful girl in the whole school. He fell in love with her because she never let her looks get to her head. She was quiet, down-to-earth, unassuming but whenever she entered a room, she would light it up with her mere presence. The first time she smiled at him, he was floored. When he made her laugh for the first time, he felt like he was floating on air. When she agreed to be his girlfriend, he felt like he won the universe. They were happy. They'd hold hands and watch movies together. They'd go to the library and pick books and they'd take turns reading out loud to each other. They'd stay up late texting about random things. He introduced her to his family. Young as he was at that time, she was his world. She felt for him the kind of affection that was reserved for best friends.
In the year and a half that they were together, they never kissed. RJ tried a few times but she always found an excuse to say no. Eventually he stopped trying. He was willing to wait until she was ready. She could feel how much he loved her and she didn't want to break his heart but their relationship didn't feel right. He made her happy but, at the back of her mind, there was always something missing and she felt that she was being unfair to him because she couldn't love him the way he loved her. So she broke it off. He never got that kiss.
A few years later, Maine met Alex and, for the first time in her life, things fell into place.
