That moment when a doctor tells you, I'm sorry, we did everything we could but we were not able to save her, it does not truly sink in. Maine was eight months pregnant when the accident happened. I was informed by the doctor that our baby had a 50-50 chance of surviving because of the impact from the accident. Few hours later, he came back, and told me that they had to induce the labor but fortunately she survived. I silently said a prayer and thanked God for saving our baby girl.
After talking to the doctor about Charmaine,I was still in denial that my beloved Maine was truly gone. I did not want to believe the doctor. I immediately asked where she was and that I wanted to see her. They showed me to the morgue.
The way a morgue smells and looks is something that is not easy to forget. It smelt like death. The smell lingers even after years has passed. must have stood by the door for a good thirty minutes trying to compose myself. Nothing can ever prepare a person for a death of a loved-one.
I finally broke down when I found Maine. She was lying on top of a metal bed, and a white blanket was covering her cold body. I gripped the metal bed, trying my best not to fall.
I ran my hands through her hair and said, I'm so sorry, Maine! Ako may kasalanan ng lahat ng ito. Ang gago gago ko! Kung hindi ko sinabi yung mga sinabi ko, hindi ka sasakay ng kotse at hindi ka mamatay. Wag mo akong iwan, please.
I took a while to gather myself, but tears streamed from my eyes,uncontrollably.
Please Maine, nakikiusap ako. Diba nag-promise tayo na we will start our own family tapos we will go on so many adventures? Papakasalan pa kita babe, diba? Dali gising ka na, please. I cannot do this without you. What will happen to Charmaine and I? Paano kami? We were supposed to raise our baby girl together. Balik ka na please lang! Hindi ko kaya ng wala ka. I'm so sorry!
I was left broken and dumbfounded, but I had to take care of our baby. I never got over the pain of Maine's death but I had to make sure that our baby is well taken care of. It was the least I can do for Maine.
Charmaine Rose Marie Faulkerson was born on April 10th 2007. I lost a loved-one but I also gained another. She was and still is the most beautiful baby girl I have ever seen in my entire life.
The moment that I held her in my arms for the first time, I knew that she would change my life forever. She became my once and again.
I remember whispering in her ear and saying, Princess, si daddy mo ito. It's just us two now. Pero si mommy nasa heaven, watching over us. Wag kang mag-alala, hindi ka papabayaan ni daddy. I will take care of you and walang pwedeng manakit sayo. I love you so much, anak.
I believe that Maine was Charmaine's angel, she made sure that our baby girl survived. Maine wanted me to have someone to hold on to, to remind me of the love that we had for each other.
Although I lost Maine, she left a part of her to me. Charmaine is the exact replica of her mother, with her dark brown eyes and plump lips.
Maine left a part of her with me, and I promised to treasure her forever.
