They're halfway through the bottle of Vodka when Maine, in a drunken stupor, asks room service to bring up lemon slices, sugar, and ice.
"What are you going to do?" RJ asks.
"Lemon drop shots!" she slurs.
"Wala kang shaker," he felt compelled to point out.
"I'll improvise! Give me your Starbucks tumbler!"
"Maine, lasing ka na. Tama na."
"I'm not drunk," she giggles. "Tipsy but not drunk."
But he could tell that she was trashed. She's never drunk this much before, as far as he knew. But hard as he tried, she didn't let him stop her. He stopped drinking after three shots, opting to stay sober just so he could keep an eye on her.
"Maine," he tries to tug the bottle away from her again, "tama na yan."
She holds the bottle away from him and pouts. "No, RJ. Please. Hayaan mo na ko. This," she points to her heart, "this hurts a little less when it's drowning in alcohol," she says in an exaggerated whisper.
He didn't try to stop her anymore after that.
Fifteen minutes later, she completely gives up on her lemon drop project and just starts to do vodka shots like one would do tequila shots only, instead of salt, she dips the lemon in sugar. RJ just shakes his head at her shenanigans, watching her as they sat cross-legged on the bed. They've been friends for a while and he's never seen her like this. It was as if something in her snapped. Which he was able to prove when, a few more minutes later, she blurts out,
"RJ let's do vodka body shots!"
The Sprite that he's drinking promptly shoots out of his nose.
She's more drunk than he thought she was.
Before he could even protest, she takes his hand and dips the back of it on her bowl of sugar. She shoves a lemon wedge in his mouth. He's frozen by fascination and frankly a little horrified at what she's about to do because she was clearly out of her mind. This wasn't her. He was about to stop her but several things happen in rapid succession.
She licks the sugar off the back of his hand. Tosses back a shot of vodka. And swoops in on him to start sucking on the lemon loosely held between his lips. He's so shocked that he feels his jaw drop, so does the lemon. She's oblivious or possibly beyond caring at this point because she starts nibbling on his lips instead. This was the stuff of his daydreams. The feeling of her lips sliding against his, finally, after so many years, made his eyes roll at the back of his head. Her hands slide under his shirt, up his torso and she deliciously, achingly, slowly rakes her fingernails down his chest. On impulse, he places his hands on her hips. But intoxicated as he was by the fact that she was touching him, at the back of his mind, he knows that it's wrong. Her ability to think has been seriously impaired by alcohol. And he knows that's it's wrong for him to be enjoying this because, no matter how crazy he was about her, he was her friend. She trusted him. So, with no small amount of difficulty, he gently pushes her away and gets off the bed to stand on the side.
"Maine, stop it. That's enough," he croaks as he pulls the now almost empty bottle of vodka away from her and sets it aside.
She frowns at him.
"Don't you want me, RJ? Don't you find me pretty?"
He closes his eyes and heaves a deep sigh.
When he opens them again, she's kneeling on the bed, knees spread apart. She pulls the ribbon holding her robe together, lets it slide down her shoulders, and looks at him imploringly.
"Don't you want this?"
RJ closes his eyes again, sending a prayer up to heaven to give him the self-control of a saint even as he feels the bulge in his pants start to grow. Why the fuck is she wearing lingerie?! Oh, right. For Alex. That thought strengthens his resolve to refuse Maine.
"Maine, please don't do this. You don't know what you're asking! You're drunk!"
"I'm not dru—whoops," she face plants on the bed. And starts laughing hysterically. Her laughter eventually turns to uncontrollable sobbing.
"RJ, why doesn't she love me anymore? Pangit ba ko, RJ? Am I a bad person? Mahirap ba kong mahalin? Why is she doing this to me, RJ?" she asks in between sobs.
RJ runs his hands through his hair. He kneels on the side of the bed so he's face to face with her.
"Maine, listen to me. You're none of those things. Hindi ka masamang tao. You're one of the kindest, most generous people I know. Hindi ka mahirap mahalin. Maraming nagmamahal sa'yo, alam mo yan. Hindi ka pangit, gago. Ang hot mo kaya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya ginagawa yan sa'yo. Pero Maine, for the sake of your sanity, please end it. Hindi na tama, Maine. Alam ko mahal mo siya, pero lahat ng bagay, lahat ng tao, may hangganan. Sagad na sagad ka na. Tama na."
She stares at him as fat drops of tears stream down her face. She reaches out and smooths his hair off his forehead. She places a hand on his cheek and takes a good, long, look at him. She brings her face closer to his, about to kiss him again but he pulls away.
"Please, RJ. Please. I need this. I need you. Please?"
She wanted to feel something other than pain and disappointment and insecurities. She wanted to feel wanted.
"Maine, please don't ask me to make this decision. Hindi mo alam sinasabi mo." he says looking away.
"Please, RJ. Just this once. Please. RJ, please," she begs him as she holds his face with both palms.
He makes the mistake of looking up and looking straight into her eyes. Glazed over and slightly unfocused but still lost. Still devastated. But desperate and pleading. Right now, she was pleading with him.
His resolve crumbles to dust. He was powerless to refuse her.
Under his gaze, she was never anything but beautiful and perfect. He knew it was wrong. He knew she was drunk out of her mind. But she was practically begging him. And it killed it him to see her hurt so much. If this was the only thing he could do for her that would make her feel even a little better about herself, then he'd do it. He'd give her what she wanted.
And before he could think about it, he stands up and gently lays her head on the pillows. He pulls his shirt and pants off, leaving nothing but boxers on. She watches him quietly. He carefully drapes his body on top of hers and braces his elbows on either side of her head.
"Are you sure about this?" he asks her, praying that she'd say no. Hoping that she'd say yes.
She answers him by putting both her hands around his neck and pulling his lips down upon hers. And then they were nothing but lips and teeth and tongue. Skin against skin, sweat intermingling and moans permeating the air.
