The screaming was deafening to her ears. The onlookers surrounded her making it hard for her to breathe. She didn't feel any pain, she wondered if she was already dead because she felt numb to the last bone. Her mind was in shambles and she tried to remember what happened. She was ready for impact, she was ready for the pain, and yet she felt none.
And then in sudden clarity, she remembered why. As she was about to take the final step towards her demise, a pair of familiar strong hands swooped her to the sidewalk and then she heard a crashing sound. Terror engulfed her being almost instantly.
She crawled her way to the body that was writhing in pain in front of her. She touched his face that was trickled with sweat, she could hear his moaning, she could feel his chest gasping for air.
"RJ, oh god no. What the fuck were you thinking?"
She didn't get any response.
"Fuck. RJ please say something. Anything."
She screamed, horrified at the possible consequences of her actions.
"RJ please don't you dare die because of me."
She cried as she laid her head on his chest. She heard the sirens fast approaching, she could hear Moshu barking in horror and Leya beside her, talking some sense into her while patting her back. She wasn't listening to what she was saying. She was too engrossed in making sure RJ was okay. She wouldn't be able to forgive herself if anything bad happened to him. Leya wanted to pull her away as the trauma team worked on their patient, but she was stubborn.
"Dei, come here. Let them take care of it."
"No no no Leya. This is all my fault. Gago ka RJ, tangina. Why didn't you just let me do it?"
"Dei calm down. You have to let go. Let them take care of RJ."
She surrendered to Leya's grasp as she guided her to the car.
"Manong sundan po natin yung ambulance."
Her hands were shaking, her heart was full of guilt. She wished to turn back time, but it was too late for that now.
"I hope he's okay. God ang tanga tanga ko."
"Okay, so tell me Dei, can you please make me understand that stunt you pulled." Leya said in a deadpan tone Dei has never heard from her ever before. To be honest, it gave her the chills.
"I'm so sorry Leya. I didn't know what I was thinking. I was just.. I felt like my whole world was falling apart. I didn't want to live anymore. But fuck, bakit nya ba kasi ginawa yun?"
"I know you're blind, but I never thought you were this dense."
"I wouldn't ask if I did."
"Ask yourself. Why does a person risk their life for someone?"
Then suddenly, it dawned on her. He was in love with her. All those days he'd spent trying to get her to laugh, trying to convince her she was a good person. All the times he kept it together even though she said the most distasteful of things. The treats he brought, the effort he showed. They were all acts of nothing else but love and she cringed upon the recollection of her shoving him away, time and time again.
"Why would he love a stupid wreck who doesn't even love herself?"
"Beats me. Ask him when you get the chance. Baka matauhan ka sa kagagahan mo."
It was evident that though Leya was forgiving, she was upset not because she blamed Dei for what happened to RJ, but because Dei was stupid enough to try and end her own life.
