I couldn't focus. Everything was fine before we stepped into that doctor's office. Of course, we had to go to the doctor because my wife and I have been trying for two months now. I knew something was up because we've been having all the sex we could get just to get her pregnant.
I wasn't complaining, because we've already done it in all the imaginable positions that was best for conceiving. We've also practically done it in every corner of the house, but, still there was nothing.
It was a month ago when I asked my friend Jan if this was normal.
"Alam mo, tol, normal naman yan. Lalo na ngayong stressed kayo dahil ang dami niyo pa ring trabaho. You both need a break from shit and just relax. Tapos tsaka kayo magtry ulit." Stress. That was what he said but he didn't end there. "Pero, just to be sure, get checked. Pacheck mo yung sperm mo. Have a prostate and testicular exam. Tapos, bring Maine to an OB. Pa-ultrasound mo siya. Pa blood work-up na din kayo para sure."
I didn't think that there could be a problem until he suggested those thing. I was still hopeful back then. I didn't think it would matter because I knew everything was normal. I didn't feel anything of it not until today. Not until the doctor gave us her diagnosis.
"Mrs. Faulkerson, based sa results ng Ultrasound, Xray at CT Scan niyo, wala namang problem. Normal po lahat." I was slightly relieved. All her scans were normal, but that didn't mean that the blood work was and of course I was right. "Yung ibang blood work niyo po normal. Pero eto..." She pointed at the hormone levels. "Hindi po normal. Mataas po ang Follicle Stimulating Hormone niyo at yung Estrogen ninyo. Pag mataas po ito, mahihirapan talaga kayo magbuntis. Mababa rin po ang Luteinizing Hormone ninyo or yung hormone na kailangan para mas makapag ovulate kayo."
In mind, I kept saying that it was only hormone levels. There wasn't any problem at all and that can be managed. "Yun lang po ba doc? Macocorrect po ba yun?" I asked her.
"Oo. Maghohormone therapy tayo kay ma'am, sir. Sa sperm count naman kasi ninyo po Mr. Faulkerson, wala namang problem. Very healthy ang sperm ninyo. Pati naman prostate hormones niyo, normal." She pointed at the lab results. "And, according to Dr. Espela, based on the prostate and testicular exam that was performed on you last week, wala naman." She returned her attention to Maine.
"Mrs. bibgyan ko po kayo ng dalawang gamot. If hindi magnormalize ang levels, we'll switch to a different drug next month pero pag nagnormalize, mamaintain lang natin ang gamot hanggang sa magkababy kayo ni mister." The doctor gave her the prescription and 2 samples of the drug.
"Salamat po doc." Maine said. She had this look on her face that says she's second guessing everything in her life again. I know that look. It means that I need to be here for her again when her insecurities strike. All the more reason to believe that this wasn't an actual problem we were having. Besides, we've only been trying for two months. What's the worst that could happen?
