Hetalia oneshots.

SuFinX PTSD Child Reader: Love?

Finland was sat down on his bed that he shared with his lover Sweden when a knock sounded at his door. The sound echoed around the house, and with a sigh, Finland went downstairs to discover who or what had disturbed his peace. He knew that it couldn't be one of the other Nordics, none of them had that knocking pattern. He opened the door to see a familiar messy blonde haired man with green eyes and enormous, bushy eyebrows.  England stood there in all his glory, resting a hand on a little girls shoulder. The girl couldn't have been any more than 7 years old, but her e/c eyes looked so much more mature. In them, Finland could see pain, anxiety and distrust. A thousand dark secrets laid deep within her e/c orbs, a thousand years of mistreatment and fear.  What startled him the most though was the defined scar running across her right cheek. "Finland, I was hoping that I could have a word with you?" Finland forced a smile on his face, masking the concern he had for the girl with the sad eyes. "Of course! Come on in!" He opened the door wide and stepped to one side, beckoning them both in.

Finland and England sat down on the white sofa (which Finland and Sweden often regretted buying due to the amount of time they ended up furiously cleaning it), hot cups of tea in their hands. The little girl had been told to wait in the Kitchen for them to finish talking. "So, who's the little girl Mister England?" Finland asked, curiosity getting the better of the short and kind-hearted Nation. "Her name is C/n, she was taken over by Russia when she was little and she has extreme PTSD and a strong fear of affection. I don't know how to help her, it gets worse every night. She wakes up either screaming or grabbing a gun and shooting at nothing. You dealt with PTSD for a while right?" Finland nodded, confused as to where the conversation was going. "Well, I thought that perhaps you could look after her for a bit, just until she's better? I have no idea what to do to help her you see, and I want her to feel safe and understood, you're the only one I can think of to possibly help her." Finland's brown eyes widened at the proposition. To help a girl as young as she with an extreme mental disorder he once dealt with sounded difficult. But the loving Nation did feel something in the pit of his stomach when he thought about how much she must have gone through to end up where she was now. Finland understood to some extent the cruelty that Russia held in his heart, and it hurt him to know that someone as young as she had to witness it for herself, and live with it for so long.

Before he had even begun to think about the pro's and con's of looking after the child, he nodded. England's face brightened up as he thanked Finland over and over again, before going into the kitchen to tell C/n the news. C/n stood in exactly the same spot that she had been put in before, she looked as though she hadn't moved a muscle. Her eyes that looked both full of emotion and emotionless all at the same time looked up at England with an unknown expression. "Will I be staying here?" She asked, her voice small and quiet, but strong all the same. England nodded and moved to hug her. E/c eyes widened in fear and she stepped backwards away from the male. The expression of hurt on England's face wasn't hard to miss, and it obviously made the girl feel bad.  "I'm sorry, I don't think it's safe for you to touch me just yet." England nodded and gave her a small smile, before heading out. C/n watched him with sad eyes.

"Hello sweetie, I'm Finland but you can call me Tino! I will be looking after you for some time!" The young girl looked up at the slightly feminine looking man. "My name is C/n, also known as Y/n L/n. I am 6 years old. I hope that I will not be a bother during my stay." Her voice sounded strong and certain as if it were all rehearsed. Finland pouted and shook his head. "You won't be! Sweden will be very happy to look after you, he really likes children, and Sealand will be happy to have someone to share his things with!" C/n looked up at him with an uncertain look. The front door opened, and Y/n froze for a few seconds before fidgeting nervously with her clothing. "Mum! We're home!" A loud, childish voice sounded from a few meters away. C/n's e/c eyes grew terrified and she put her hands to her ears, chanting 'no, no please stop!' over and over again. Finland instantly knelt down in front of her, trying to comfort her in any way possible without having to touch her. "Hush, hush it's okay now sweetie, it's just Sealand, no one here is going to hurt you, I won't let them." Her chanting stopped, and she began to shake violently. Finland noticed this and instantly wrapped his arms around her in a hug. The shaking became more and more violent as she shoved him off of her and grabbed a knife out of her pocket. She threw it at the wall, screaming at it to get away from her. Sweden moved and picked her up, cradling her weak body against his own, stroking the mop of h/c hair that rested on her head. "Explain." He said when she had fallen asleep in his arms. 

When Finland had finally explained it all to Sweden and Sealand, C/n had woken up. Her e/c eyes looked around at Sweden and Sealand with mild curiosity. "I'm sorry." She whispered, clear, crystalline tears gathering in her eyes. Finland instantly began to comfort the crying Nation. "Oh sweetheart, it isn't your fault! You just got frightened is all!" Tears continued to stream down her cheeks. "Master Russia would always use that voice. T-that childish and happy voice right before he would beat me." Sealand also began to cry, knowing that it was his fault that she was crying. "It isn't your fault, it's kind of my own for remembering what happened. I promise I'll try harder next time! I swear I won't be too much trouble with it all so you don't have to kick me out or hit me!" Sweden's usually emotionless eyes widened as looked at the girl. Her eyes were glued to her hands which were laid on her lap. "We won't hurt you. No one will ever again." Finland and Sealand looked in shock at the tall and intimidating Nation. He usually didn't speak much, unless he felt the time was right. "That's what they said. That's what he said before he took me with him. I can remember, I saw Finland one time. I don't think you saw me, though. I was 4 at that time, and Russia grabbed me and threw me into the freezer room. He beat me then too." C/n stood up and pulled her t-shirt off over her head. All of the males in the room gasped or looked away in horror at the number of scars that littered her back and front.  "Each of these scars holds a memory. I can remember exactly how I got each and every one of them, and the memories of them, and the nightmares of him coming back to hurt me again, that's what makes me do the things I do. When I break and hurt someone, it's because instead of them, I see Russia."

Finland began to cry, as he remembered once seeing a little girl in the corner of the room.  He could remember the pain he went through with Russia, both stories had similarities. But her's was so much worse than his. "One time I had a nightmare and cried during the night, he heard me. That's how I got this scar." C/n pointed to a particularly ugly scar that crossed her back. Sealand was a blubbering mess at this point. He felt pity towards the girl that was younger than him but was also so much more mature. "I couldn't break away from him. I stayed there for 1029 years. Each day got worse until one day he just beat me and threw me out. That was a few months ago." Sweden listened intently as she finished her story. "What is love?" The question seemed so out of the blue for the young child to ask. "Russia always said that he 'loved' me. But is that what love is?" Sealand shook his head.

"No, it isn't." C/n turned to Sealand, curious as to what the answer to the question was. "Love is when someone will protect you from all harm when they will hold you before you fall asleep. Love is when you know that no matter what, that person will always care for you. Love is when you can honestly say that you would lay your life down for someone. Love is what you feel when you think of someone, a friend, family, or a lover and you smile." Finland smiled at Sealand's words. "And we will love you always, you are family now. So no matter what we will take care of you!" C/n smiled for the first time in years, happy tears pooling on her eyes.

"There is this sort of light, fluttery feeling in my chest. Is that love?" Finland smiled and answered her question. "Yes, it is." 
"Then is it alright if I say I love you all?"
"Of course."