Writings

Help

A/N: Idk what this is but it's important.

~Samm😍😊💕💚💭🙈

It helps to know that when she isn't here, she is. Helps to know that her words can stay in my heart forever. Helps to know that I can touch her writing and know she's real. Helps to know that she'll be there every year for my birthday. Helps to know she's been there this whole time. That she'll still be there in the future. Helps to know that she can still surprise me. After all these years. Helps to know that she can make me cry tears of joy when I can't even find the sun. Helps to see the written "I love you" in her handwriting. Helps to see her silly drawings and all our inside jokes. Helps to touch the page. Helps to see the words and read them so many times know exactly what they say and never seeing them change or fade away. Helps to know that even after just turning 18 and 19 we're still friends. Helps to know that at 14 and 15 we were barely strangers and one conversation can change the whole world. I can look at these words and remember the look on her face when she gave it to me. Written words mean more to me than spoken ones. When they're written, I can touch them and know they won't change. I can read them over and over. I can hold them in my shaking hand and the words are still the same. I can feel the emotion put into it. I can feel the emotion in each lead scribble. The doodles in the margins make me smile. The years of inside jokes pushed into a page. I can't describe what it feels like to have a friend like her. I cannot tell you how it feels to know that she'll be there for every birthday. If that's the only time I see her all year, it's enough. She doesn't need to get me a gift. Just her being there is enough. Just knowing she's there on one of the most important days of each year is enough. Knowing that she'll be there the next morning, it's tradition. It has been for so long. I can't, no I won't imagine life without her. Or Kate. Or Shelby. Or Amber. Or Nick. Or Erin. I won't. Because that was a different time. I time I don't want to relive. I just want to live here in this time with them. I want to live into the future and know that they'll be there. I want to be right here, right now. They're always there. Even when I'm crying my eyes out and can't stop. Even when I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe. Even when I'm feeling negative. Even when I'm being stupid. Even when I don't think Drew would care. Even when I'm so stupidly in love with him I can't think right. They're there and that's all I can ask for. I love them.They're my best friends. I couldn't have asked for better. 

A/N: Okay whatever.

~Samm😍😊💕💚💭🙈