Writings

catch up

hey, shelbs idk if you'll see this or not, or if you even want to talk to me or not but whatever. I know it's been a long ass time. and idk if you've even kept up with my works or nah. but I'll give you a huge update bc I haven't in a while. so here we go!

update 1: I'm 22 now. that's insane! 😂 I feel hella fucking old.

update 2: I swear sometimes now? like you can see that already obvi.

update 3: capitalization is for squares! 😂

update 4: I'm on meds now for anxiety which helps a lot. but I still have this weird ass anxiety thing. I had 2 of em today. it's like total and complete fear. and I don't understand it. bc it takes me into my head where shit has happened in dreams and shit but it never actually happened? but it feels real. idk what it is but its scary af.

update 5: my mom died about 2 years ago.. so that sucked.

update 6: my aunt had cancer but now she's cancer free so that's perfect! (her friend Michael is still a dick tho)

update 7: my dad has a girlfriend but they might be on the outs? stay tuned.😂

update 8: I applied for a job the other day at a like doggie daycare and fingers crossed 🤞🏻 bc it's a dream!

update 9 (which should have been 1): i have a phone! yee! well ive have four but only one of them broke so.. 🤷🏻 with our phone plan we can upgrade every 3 months so that's cool.

update 10: we hella broke. like on food stamps, sparing ever cent we have, buying the cheap stuff broke. like we don't have WiFi or cable bc we can't afford it broke.

update 11: after my mom died, I slept on the couch for almost 2 years but now I'm back in my room and it's cleanish. and I look almost moved in now. 😂

update 12: I can't ever focus on one story at a time so I have like 80 started rn 🤣😂

update 13: and a major update this one is. I'm making video edits now! crazy right? they're shit and take forever but they're fun to make so 🤷🏻

update 14: um, idk? oh, wait! I remembered. I'm obsessed with marvel. it basically owns my life. marvel owns my ass and I'm not ashamed to say it. 😂 more specifically, carol susan jane danvers and james buchanan barnes. 💕😍 ugh! i love them so much! carol is my wife. plus sebastian and brie are adorable. oof I love them so much.

update 15: happy birthday! I know it's somewhere around this time bc we started talking on april fools day and you said your birthday was like 24(?) days from then. so happy birthday my smol bean! i love you so, so much! 💕💕💕 and if my brother and I did the math right you should be like 18(?) now! so that's awesome! hope you enjoy that.

I can't think of anything else that's majorly different than it was the last time we talked so long ago.. but I guess that's okay? idk. anyway. idk if you'll see this. or if you'll remember me. or if you'll even want to talk to me bc I'm not that great of a person. and I wish there was something I could have done differently back then so that things wouldn't be like this now. so if you ever see this, remember me, or want to talk I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere... literally at all bc I still don't have my license... 🙃 but yeah, I still love you shelbs and I still miss you. so if you're able to or want, message me.. ive taken what you said back then to heart and I haven't tagged you or sent you anything. sometimes I read through the messages just bc I miss you. and while no, I don't whine about it everyday, I still miss you immensely. i hope that one day the universe can bring you back to me. but I guess if it doesn't... well I guess you'll be better off without me holding you back.

I know you're gonna do amazing things some day. and I hope to be one of the people that can say I knew you when. but heh, who knows. we didn't talk for super long and g+ is legit dead now.. so if you see this and wanna talk, message me and I can give you my number. or Snapchat or Instagram or twitter or something. I really just wanna be able to talk to you again like we used to. if you've tried to get ahold of me on Skype, I don't remember my login 😂 typical me. and I don't have wifi... I love you shelbells. I really do. I hope you see this...

-sam🌹