Writings

Reckless

A/N: I wrote this last night bc one of the members of one of the bands that I like got in a car accident and I'm still really upset about it so. Just here. 

~Samm🙈💭💚

I can't lose him. He's far too important to me. He's my source of happiness. He's the light that guides me through the storm. He's the thing that keeps me strong, keeps me hanging on. He's my everything and it would hurt too bad to lose him now. I love him more than I believed possible knowing that he got hurt, makes me hurt. My heart aches to help him, to make it better. I want to smack him for being so stupid. But at the same time I want to hug him because he's okay. I can't believe he would do this. I can't believe that he could be this reckless, this stupid. I really hope he learns a lesson from all of this. He needs to be more careful than this. I wish he would stop hurting me like this. I need him. And he really needs someone careful and cautious like me in his life. Someone to stop him from doing stupid things like this. Someone who will smack him when he does dumb things that will get him hurt. Someone who will fuss over him and coddle him when he's hurt. And I could be that someone if he let me. I'm so mad at him but I'm so worried about him. I hate him but I love him. I know he's okay but I want to hear him say that he's okay. I need to see that he's okay. That he's not hurt. I'm losing my mind thinking that he might have bruises. That he could be in pain. I wanna hold his hand so I know that he's safe. I need to know he's still there, make sure his heart is still beating. I just wanna know that he's safe. I need to. He makes me happy. He makes me feel safe. I want him to know that I can return that. I need him to know his importance. Need him to know that he could have died. And the impact it would have had. I need to touch him and know. Know that he's safe. And real. And alive. And healthy. And breathing. And that he's not gonna fade away. That he's not breakable, not made of glass. That I don't need to worry about him. That he's in good hands. That he can be trusted to take care of himself properly. I just need to know. It's more that a want. It's a necessity. I need him to be here. Where I can take care of him and watch over him. Where I know he's safe. Where I won't worry about him. Where he can comfort me while I comfort him. He's important to me so I need him to be safe. I can't lose him. I've already lost too many people. I can't lose him. It would break me. I need to hold onto him with all my strength. I need him to be safe at all times. If I lost him, I'd give up entirely. And I need to be there for K. I can't do that if I lose him. I can't do that if I give up because of him. I can't physically lose him. It would destroy me. Don't let me lose him... or you lose me... 

A/N: Anyway there's that. Okay bye!

~Samm🙈💭💚