Writings

Proud

A/N: The beginning of this is happier. The end not so much. Okay whatever.

Photo: I found this today and I can't look at it without crying and I had to put it somewhere so here. He's my angel. You can't have him. Mine. My love. 🙈🙈🙈💕💕💕❤❤❤😍😍😍💞💞💞😇😇😇😻😻😻🐧🐧🐧😘😘😘😳😳😳💭💭💭💙💜💛💚❤💖💖💘💘💓💓💎💎(sorry too many emojis but i love this boy with everything i have. i'm literally in love with him.)

~Samm ^~^

I did it. I finished something I've been working on for a long time. It's consumed months of my time and thousands of words. I accomplished something I never thought possible. I thought it was a never ending beast. A thing I'd work on and work on and never get to the end. I was nearly convinced that the end didn't exist. I thought it was a sick dream that would never come true. A joke that held no humor. It started as a way to cheer up a friend. It became a life defining piece. I should celebrate. Yet, I feel like a part of me is missing, gone, lost, taken. I don't know if I want it back. I feel empty without that looming over my head like a rain cloud. I feel lost without it. I don't have that pestering voice telling me to write. It's like all my words are gone. Should I do a sequel? But there would be so many new characters to follow. So many different perspectives. So many new angles. But also so many possibilities. Who should I follow? Would each chapter be a new family? A new character? A new storyline? There's so many ways to go. I feel lost without the nagging voice in my head. There's still a lot of work to do on it. I have to make a cover. I have to gather the links and photos. I have to split up the chapters. I have to set a day to post it. Should it be weekly or daily? I'll have to make reminders to post. I have to proofread it. I have to make sure the links work. I have to choose songs and quotes for each chapter. There's still a lot to do for it. Is this something I really should be proud of? Should I really take pride in the completion of a story I wrote about and for my friends? Is that a normal thing to do? Is it really that good? Or am I just that crazy? Am I that lame? Am I really this stupid? What if he sees it? What will he say? Is it any good? Will anyone even read it but us? How long will it take to post it all? It is actually pretty shit writing. A lot like this. Everything I write it shit. I'm not a writer. What make me think I could be? I'll never be an author. It's just not possible. I'm not good enough for anything or anyone. What makes me think I have a chance with him? I'm sick and twisted. He's beautiful and wonderful. He's smart and sweet and caring. He's funny and cute and lovely. He's a bright shimmering star. I'm none of those things. I'm the total opposite. I'm a sick being.

A/N: Okay there's that. Whatever. But Shelby, if you read this, yes I finished the story. I'm gonna start posting it very soon. I'm proofreading. (and all the other stuff listed in here ugh) I'll be up soon and you can read it. Just so you know. (also i love you and i made this cute edit for you so.....:///) Um, yeah that's really all I got. I might make/post the cover and description even sooner than the story. Okay bye! 

~Samm =^~^=