Constellations, Alex Gaskarth, All Time Low

20

Petal

I get out of the bath and take a shower scrubbing my sore body and wash my hair. Anything to feel clean. I shaved everything to distract myself and I held back tears.

When you're younger, you think Rockstars have it all. The fame, fortune, love, strength. You think they can do anything.

That's not always right.

Soon, the media will know Ashland was fired. They'll ask why, you know, whatever. And if Alex and I break up, then they'll know that too.

What I'm saying is that there's zero privacy.

I sigh, getting out, drying off, putting on panties that go up to my hips and a hoodie, and I see my brother sitting on the couch in silence, leaned over, his head in his hands.

I look at the coffe table and tear up, where the flowers are and where Alexs' bear was.

"Lift up the back of your shirt, let me see your back." He mutters. I do as he says and he puts it back down a few seconds later. "It's scratched pretty good." He frowns, I hand him neosporin and he gently rubs it on my back.. "What about your arms?"

"Bad enough for Alex to notice them." I turn back toward him, tears soaking my eyes.

"Did you tell him what happened?"

"I wasn't ready to. He thought I was cheating Silas. I'd never cheat on anyone. I didn't want to tell him on the phone." I cry out, hugging my brother. "He'll be mad that I never told him that Ashland groped me, but Jack knows. I know you're upset I didn't tell you. Alex would be even more mad."

"Petal, trust me. I'm pissed off at Ashland, not you, but I am truly pissed that Jack knew and you didn't tell me. You're my little sister, it's my job to protect you from creeps like him.

"I could never be mad at you for something that wasn't your fault. Whether it's when Alex decides to listen to you on Skype or when we fly to Toronto, he's going to listen to you. He'll see Ashland is gone, and he's going to know something was up since he knew something was up before."

"He'll understand, little sister." Silas comforts me. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Do you love Alex?"

"I haven't told him yet, but, I do. I realized that while I was in the shower." I answer. He doesn't love me.

"I don't want to be alone." I tell Silas. "Please don't go. I'm tired, but please don't go."

"I won't." He promises, and turns on my favorite movie, Good Will Hunting.

9:47 PM

I wasn't able to watch the entire movie before I fell asleep. I barely made it half way, but when I woke up, I heard familiar voices, and I thought it was a dream, and that I wasn't actually awake.

"I don't want to wake her, I probably really upset her." One voice says.

"You didn't do the most damage." Silas' voice answers.

"What do you mean?" Alex.

"She would have to tell you. It isn't my business to, but I'm glad I got there when I did."

My eye lids were heavy, but I fluttered them open, waking up, I stare at my living room ceiling. Should I say something? I'm not ready for this.

"You can go sit with her or on the couch. I'll go get you a drink."

I get up, and try to just head to the bathroom, I'm not ready for this.

I know it might be over reacting, but what would have happened if Silas wasn't there? I could have been raped, killed, beaten, or all three.  What will Alex think? What will happen to us?