The Guide To Being Transgender

Pronouns

There are lots of different pronouns. I'm going to list them here, in categories. All of these pronouns are valid though, and if someone asks you to use them, then it's your job as a decent human being to god damn use them.

*Binary Pronouns*
He/Him/His: typically associated with male or masculine genders.
She/Her/Hers: typically associated with female or feminine genders.

*Nonbinary/Gender Neutral Pronouns*
They/Them/Theirs: not necessarily a plural pronoun. This is the most common pronoun for nonbinary people.
Ze/Zem/Zirs
Xe/Xem/Xyr/Xyrs
Ne/Nem/Nir/Nirs
Ve/Ver/Vis/Vis
Ey/Em/Eir/Eirs
Ze/Hir/Hirs

*Objected Pronouns*
It/Its: this pronoun should never be used in reference to a human being unless said human explicitly states that they prefer that pronoun. It is derogatory and incorrect if used in any other circumstance and should be avoided. It is most commonly used for inanimate objects or nonliving things, in which case it is fine to use.

If you don't know someone's pronouns, ask them. Even cisgender people; it's okay. If you don't know what to use and you're too shy to ask, it's usually safe to use they/them pronouns until they tell you otherwise.

If you mess up someone's pronouns, don't make a big deal out of it, especially if they aren't cis. Politely correct yourself and apologize discreetly, not calling attention to the mess-up. It gets really awkward and uncomfortable if you make a scene about it, especially in public. For example, I've written this short scene.

M and T are in a mall, talking with their new friend, L. T, a transman, is currently stealth.
M: Yeah, we were just hanging out, really. You wanna come?
L: Where, exactly?
M gestures to T casually.
M: To her house to play some video games.
M's eyes grow wide and he turns to his friend.
M: His! I meant his! I'm so sorry, man, it won't happen again! I swear I didn't mean it, man. I totally meant to say his, it just slipped my mind for a minute.
T: N-no, it- it's okay, really.

Now, wouldn't it be so much better if that went more like this...

M: To her house to play video games. (Pauses) Sorry, I meant his. My bad. Anyway, you wanna go?
L: Yeah, sure, just let me grab my backpack.

See how much smoother that was? A lot less awkward, too.

Be respectful about pronouns, guys. They aren't something to play around with, and it makes people really happy when you use the right ones. That goes for cis and trans people. Pronouns aren't a reward or a punishment. They're a human right and a grammatical masterpiece.

I hope this enlightened some people, and maybe even helped some nonbinary pals figure out what pronouns they like. Let me know if I missed any pronouns, please. Thank you!