The Guide To Being Transgender

Dating as a Transgender Individual

Dating as a trans person can be very tricky. Obviously, there's the confusing issue of sexuality, but that's not what I'm referring to. Your sexuality is actually completely different and separate from your gender identity and expression.

I'm referring to the actual complications of being a trans person in a relationship, especially an intimate one.

It's important to remember that different people are okay with different things, and some people will okay with dating you, and some won't. A lot of the times, if someone won't be with you because you're trans, it's a highly sexual reason. That's okay. The other person has a right to that. If they can't be with someone who doesn't have the matching genitalia to what they're attracted to, they shouldn't be forced to.

I know a few cis/het girls who won't be with a trans guy just because they like dick too much, and many cis/het boys who won't be with trans girls because they like vagina too much. It's a temperamental situation, and it sucks, but you can't fault someone for what they're attracted to. For sexual people, sex tends to be a big part of a relationship. That can't be helped.

However, people are out there who will be with you. That's the main thing. Don't give up hope, because you will find someone who will be with you, and happily at that.

Now then, on to the actual "in a relationship" part. The first thing you need to do in a relationship is lay the ground rules. Every relationship should have this, but it's especially important for a trans person. You need to let your partner know how far you're willing to go, where you're willing to be touched, and how you're willing to be treated. Also, it should go without saying that you should tell your partner that you're trans BEFORE you get in the relationship.

If at any point during the relationship you feel you're being disrespected or mistreated, get out of the situation. Or at the very least, talk to your partner about it and tell them how you feel so that you can fix things.

Also, before becoming intimate with anyone, you should both get tested for STI's, just to be safe. I say both of you because it wouldn't be quite fair to ask them to get tested without getting tested yourself.

Remember to politely correct them if they get your name or pronouns wrong. Any relationship where you feel like you can't stand up for that is an unhealthy one.

Let the other person ask you any questions they have. If it's a question that you don't feel comfortable answering, politely explain that. You should ask them some questions too if you have any. That'll make it feel less like an interrogation.

Finally, just remember to have fun in the relationship. It's still just two people in a relationship, trans or otherwise. Don't get caught up in all the serious things. Just enjoy it.