The Guide To Being Transgender

Don't Fetishize Us!

People, unfortunately, fetishize trans people a lot. It's really weird and hard to explain, but it's evident in a lot of TV shows and media.

Now, I'm not talking about drag queens and kings. That's an art style, not fetishization. I'm talking more so about people who get turned on just by the thought of a "girl becoming a guy" or a "guy becoming a girl." It's disgusting, to be quite honest.

Some people will seek out a trans person to date, and get off on that. Just because they're trans. A lot of trans people are viewed as sexual objects in the cis/het world, especially trans women.

Now, a fetish isn't generally a bad thing, but most fetishes are simple things such as feet or pain. When a fetish has to do with a person or community of people, it removes their humanness and replaces it with righteousness for the wrong reasons. It makes them seem less real, and honestly objectifies them.

Not only that, but it also often only applies to trans people with intact biological genitals. For example, a trans woman who still has her functional penis, or a trans man who never had phalloplasty. This simply shows how purely sexual the fetish is. These people don't care about the person behind the anatomy. They only care about the anatomy.

I've done some research on the topic, and personally feel that it could come from displacement of sexual attraction. For example, a man who is attracted naturally to men but can't accept that may disassociate the attraction with men to an attraction with the more acceptable trans woman, who still has the anatomy that the man is attracted to. Of course, this wouldn't be true in all cases, but it could offer some explanation to certain cases.

That does not, in any way, excuse the fetishization of our community, and the people who have these fetishes, trans-amorous people, are not allies to us or our communities. They are often the source of emotional distress, violence, and rape.

Sometimes, it can be hard to spot these people. They may stand up for you and offer their "love." They may claim to be an ally, and "valiantly" protect the community. They may attend marches and go to every effort to establish themselves as trustworthy. You just have to keep a keen eye, and remain skeptical (but not cynical). It could help to discuss your concerns appropriately with a person, and don't give them any room to use you as a sexual object.

We have to tackle this one step at a time, and the first step is bringing awareness.