The Guide To Being Transgender

Fluidity

Gender and sexuality are fluid things. Your ever-evolving sense of self can lead to confusion and experimentation, causing your personal identity to change and grow as your understanding of yourself does. I don't believe in the idea that gender identity is decided by the time you're three years old. I don't think that makes sense. Gender is a social concept. A child that young wouldn't have a definition of gender in mind except for what is defined for them by society. Of course, there are kids who figure it all out and begin transitioning very early on. That is not a standard.

I believe that your gender identity can change over time. I believe it is fluid, and that it can continue to change even into adulthood. I'll use one of my friends as an example.

He told me once that he feels like his gender has actually changed since he first started questioning it. He used to feel much more nonbinary, maybe even leaning a bit to the feminine side, but as he has grown and learned more about hisself, he feels his gender has changed to a much more masculine identity, though still on the nonbinary spectrum.

That's an example of long-term fluidity. There are also specific gender identities that contain fluidity in the label. Genderfluid, boyflux, and girlflux are a few examples of this.

Some people with fluid genders such as these stick to a single gender-neutral pronoun, but others have fluid pronouns that match their gender at any given time. It is important to respect this, even if you feel that it becomes difficult or tiring to constantly ask what their pronouns are on any given day. Trust me, it's much more difficult for them to constantly deal with being misgendered because someone is too lazy to ask what pronouns they should use.

Sometimes, if you know a person long enough, it gets to the point where you don't even have to ask too often. For example, I have a friend that's genderfluid. I've known them for years. They're typically pretty pronoun indifferent, but they do have an inclination toward what pronoun they prefer at any given time. Because I've known them so long and gotten used to their behavior, I can usually tell which pronoun to use without asking. However, I am not perfect. I still ask usually, just to make sure.

Fluidity is important to understand. Honestly, I could go on about it for ages, but I won't. If you have any specific questions, please ask them, but the message I really want to get across is this:

Respect fluid genders and sexualities. We are not boxes. We don't have to be defined. The most important thing we can do is exist as ourselves and help others feel comfortable existing as themselves. Thank you.