The Guide To Being Transgender

All About Nonbinary

So, this will probably be a bit longer than most of my updates.

I have a lot of nonbinary friends, and every single one has a different perspective.

I'll explain what nonbinary is. A person who is nonbinary is essentially outside of the gender binary. They are not male or female, but rather lay in between or completely outside of those two genders. Nonbinary is its own umbrella term, but it is often used as a defining label as well. It is not synonymous with agender necessarily, and each nonbinary person probably feels differently about their gender.

No two nonbinary people feel the exact same way. I can guarantee it. Now, I'm not nonbinary and can't, therefore, speak for the community, but I'd like to lay out some of the basics of understanding the nonbinary identity.

Nonbinary people often, but don't always, identify with gender neutral pronouns. These include anything from they/them to zie/zir. It is important to use these pronouns as instructed by the person, as pronouns are an extremely personal and imperative aspect of a person.

A shortened term for nonbinary is enby, played off the NB of the word. Some nonbinary people openly accept this term, and others reject it. Don't use any terms when referring to someone if they haven't told you it's okay to use those terms.

Remember, it's always okay to ask someone what terms and pronouns they use. It is incredibly respectful to do so, and I assure you, no self-respecting trans/nonbinary person would get angry with you.

Trans* with the asterisk, is an umbrella term that encompasses any single person who identifies as something besides what they were assigned at birth. This includes nonbinary people. However, some nonbinary people reject this since nonbinary is its own umbrella.

Some terms that different nonbinary people will use are enby, queer, genderqueer, and trans*. I'm sure there are more that I haven't covered.

Some people are very specific about their gender. For example, I know a person who identifies very specifically as boyflux. He's always a boy, but sometimes there's this tiny part of him that feels distinctly nonbinary. I also know people who prefer more general terms. I have one friend who identifies with nonbinary as their sole label.

Then there are people who don't pick a label. If you ask them their pronouns, they'll kinda shrug and say "they/them," but they won't offer any suggestions if asked their gender.

You have to respect how other's identify, even if you don't understand or agree with it. I, personally, see nothing wrong with people being whatever they are. It isn't a choice. The label is the choice, but the feeling would be there no matter what. That's why I think it's a good thing to have so many labels nowadays. (And some of these "tumblr identities" have actually been around for ages. Just saying.)

I'm working on a glossary of terms for all things LGBT+, so if you want to learn more about different nonbinary identities, keep an eye out for that. Quick question, though, should I make the glossary a separate book or a chapter in this one?

My main point is just to respect people. Honestly, it isn't that hard to respect what someone tells you, especially if it's your first time meeting them.