When She Is No Longer Mine «Jason McCann & Justin Bieber»

19

Jasper

I open my door quietly, looking around to make sure Mommy isn't up here. I tiptoe over to her room and open the door. I run up to the bed and climb in with Daddy. He opens his eyes just as I snuggle against his chest. "What're you doing, little man?" His voice comes out scratchy.

"Momma told me you is sicky so I's wanted to come way wif you because you way wif me when I'm sicky," I tell him.

He nods, wrapping his arm around me. "Go to sleep, baby boy." He kisses my cheek, making me lean up and kiss his.

A few minutes later, mommy comes in. "Jasper-"

Daddy cuts her off. "Come lay with us, baby," he says nicely. Mommy sighs as she takes off her pants. She climbs in bed on the other side of me. "I love you both, so, so much." He leans over to kiss Mommy. "A-And I'm going to go away for awhile."

I sit up quickly. "Can I go with you?" I ask excitedly.

He shakes his head, sniffling. "No, baby. Daddy has to go by himself," he tells me. "Mommy is going to come see me and she'll bring you with her sometimes."

I furrow my eyebrows. "Why're you crying, Dada?" I climb onto his chest.

"Daddy is very, very sick. I can't control when I cry or do stupid things. That's why I'm going away," he explains.

I lay down, putting my head in his neck. "I's gon' miss you," I whisper.

He kisses my head, letting out a sob. "I know, I'm going to miss you too. But I have to go," he tells me. Mommy stands up and grabs her laptop from under the bed. "Are you going to call?" Daddy asks her.

She nods, "they close at nine."

Jason - the next day

I get out of the car, letting out a heavy sigh. Nezther grabs my hand as we walk to the large building. We tell the person our name and before I knew it, we're walking around the campus.

"This is the gym," Bridget, the person who will be my therapist when I come, tells us. I hold onto Nezther's hand tightly as I nod. "This will be where I take you on days when you feel angry or frustrated. Then after you finish up here, I'll bring you back to shower and we can talk afterwards."

"When would he come? We have a three year old son and I have off next week, I want to spend sometime with him before he leaves," Nezther tells the woman.

She nods, looking down at the papers in her hands. "He could start next Sunday, if that's alright?"

Nessie looks over at me. "Is that okay, baby? Or do you want some more time?" She cups my face.

"I don't want to leave you," I whisper as a single tear slides down my face.

She wipes it away with her thumb. "I can come see you everyday after work and I can bring Jasper on the weekends. But that's only if you want to come here. You don't need to, baby, I'm more than willing to help you through this. But I think all of my love and support isn't enough anymore. I just don't want you to get any worse," she kisses my forehead.

"We have a daytime program," the woman chimes in. "It's from seven to five."

"I don't want to be without you," I sob. Nezther pulls me into a hug. I tuck my head into her neck, crying quietly as they talk.

"Our program comes with options. It's either two, three, or five days a week for the daytime program. You get to pick the days you come, but it must be the same days each week."

"And how long is that for?" My fiancée asks as I rub her belly.

Bridget nods again. "That is for three, six, or twelve months."

I shake my head. "No more than three," I stand up straight. "She's pregnant, she's due in six months."

Nezther rubs my back gently. "Five months, baby. We go to the doctors on our way home to find out the babies genders."

"Can I think about it?"

"Of course," the woman exclaims. She hands Nezther and I a few packets before excusing us to leave.

«» «» «»

I slowly slide off Nezther's pants, looking up at her sleeping face. I slide her panties off also, laying between her legs.

I latch my lips onto her bundle of nerves. I lap my tongue up and down her center, making her open her eyes with a gasp. "Jason..." she breathes out.

I lift my head a little bit to speak. "I've been stressing you out and I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you," I quickly get out before going back down. It took a few minutes but Nezther reached her high, pulling at my hair. I sit up, looking down at her flawless figure. "Wanna cuddle?"

"Of course," she nods. I hand her, her panties before climbing behind her. I move my hand under her shirt, placing it on her growing belly. "Why'd you do that?" She asks softly.

"Because I feel bad. I've been throwing all of my shit on you and I'm sorry."

She lets out a quiet hum. "For one, don't feel bad, baby. I know you don't control it. And for two, thank you." I tuck my head into her neck, something I've grown to be dependent on. "How're you feeling?" She sets her hand on mine.

"Exhausted," I whisper.

"You just woke up, baby," she tells me skeptically.

She moves to sit up next to me on the bed. "I want to do this rehab program," I tell her, placing a hand on her thigh.

"Yeah?"

I nod, "yeah." A tear slides down my cheek. "But I want the full thing. I-If I come home at night, I-I... I'll be tempted to— to hurt myself. I want to get better for you and for our kids."

Nezther climbs onto my waist, making me sit up. She wraps her arms around my neck and mine go around her waist. We simply hold each other for what seems like the entire night.

"I'm sorry that I can't give you more," Nessie squeezes me tightly. "I'm sorry I can't be all the help you need."

"But you're a big portion of it," I whisper before kissing her cheek repeatedly. "I'm doing this for you, baby. I'm doing this so you don't have to raise three kids on your own."

She breaks down at my last statement. All I can do is hold her tight and kiss her face. "I can't sleepy," Jasper mumbles as he walks into the room.

"Come here, little man," I say over his mother's cries.

He climbs onto the bed. "Whys mommy sad?" He tries to wedge himself between our arms.

Nezther lets him onto my lap, trying to calm herself down. "Daddy is going to go away for awhile, bud. I need you to promise me that you'll be on your best behavior and you're going to help mommy," I reach over and wipe Nezther's tears away. "It's going to be very hard for mommy and she's going to need someone to cuddle with her every night."

Jasper latches onto my chest, holding onto me tightly. "I'll watch over her every night," he whispers to me.