My Fear (Eric Divergent Fanfic)

Chapter 54

I wake up with sore eyes from crying slightly last night. Phoenix is still sprawled out on the bed, his arm over Eric's face.

I don't bother waking any of the them. I have work early and I get dressed and meet up with Peter.

Today, I'm reserved and quiet, I can't stop thinking about Eric and what he's said. Peter can tell too, he knows something is wrong.

I hate talking to Peter about Eric because I know he finds the whole thing ridiculous. I don't even know how he feels about Audrey being dead.

"He did it," I say to him.

"He told you?" He raises his eyebrows.

"Audrey broke Phoenix's arm and Eric accidentally killed her."

"Did she fly off the hinge again?"

I nod my head. "Of course she did."

"Well, at least he got a good couple years with her."

"He doesn't act like it. I don't know, I thought he'd be a mess. He just killed the love of his life and he's...fine--hostile, but fine."

"Eric just probably is dealing with it in his own way. Plus, you two aren't exactly the closest anymore... she was that to him."

"Well he's taking it out on me," I cross my arms. "I'm just trying to help. He can't see that."

"His loss." Peter shrugs.

"Easy for you to say, you don't live with him. Somedays I wish we could run off together."

"Let's do it." His head perks up.

"Peter, I have six children." I say unamused.

"Oh... yeah."

"When Eero turns 16 in 13 and a half years, we can run away together then."

Peter winces. "That's so far away." He whines.

I kiss his cheek. "I know."

"How long am I going to have to wait for you?"

I look at him confused. "For what?"

"It's not like we're really together right now. You live with him. You have the kids with him. So it's not like we're known. We can't even move in together for another thirteen years. Will we ever be able to get married? Or are you two never getting a divorce?"

My body tenses, I never thought of it like this. "I want us to be known, Peter. I'm not going to be married to Eric for long. I'll talk to him about getting a divorce, but Eero is still so young and...and--Maybe I can move out, get my own place with you in a few years when Ean makes his decision and Eero is starting school. It'll be easier."

"The reason for this in the first place was to raise the kids, but that's years." He says in disappointment.

"What do you want me to do Peter," I frown. "They have to come first."

He sighs. "I know."

I cup my hand to his cheek, "I love you, and I choose you. I don't love Eric--we only raise our children together. Him and I have nothing else."

"I love you and I wish that we're really true."

My heart goes still. "What do you mean?"

"You want the truth?"

"That is the truth."

"No it's not."

I cross my arms. "What exactly is the truth then?"