My Fear (Eric Divergent Fanfic)

Chapter 66

The doctor said that I bruised it further--or at least Eric did. It was just one step back, he gave me cast to help with my movement and we did exercises and we were in and then out. I told Eric to have Robert pick up the kids so he and I could get some rest.

I asked him to put me in bed so I could nap--in my own bed, I barely got any sleep last night. "Can you stay in here?" I look at him. "Not to talk, just lay with me."

"Yeah."

I rub my hand along his arm. I lay on my side to look at him, I brush a piece of his hair out of his face. "We'll be alright," it comes out sounding like a question.

"I think we will." He smiles. "I need to get a haircut."

"Want me to cut it?" I've cut all the kids hairs and I've cut Eric's before.

"Tomorrow? I kind of just want to lay here with you for the rest of the day or at least until I have to get up and make us all dinner."

"Have Robert make dinner," I whine. "Why don't we just lock the door and stay here for the rest of the night," I wrap my arm around his waist and pull myself closer to him.

"I would love to, but our six kids might not like that too much and I think they have it pretty bad lately with us and the kids at school."

I close my eyes and nod my head. "You're right," I say with a hint of disappointment. I climb up Eric's chest so my face is even with his, I leave a soft kiss on his lips and peel away slowly. "Tonight..." I breathe in between kisses. "I want to try again."

He tenses. "Okay."

I pull back, "Are you sure there isn't anything else bothering you," I say getting upset.

"Are you sure you're ready to do this?'

"I want to be with you," I prop myself up to look at him better. "I. Want. You. I'm tired of holding back. We're going to do this...tonight. I mean don't you want to?"

"No. I guess we can do this. I just don't feel comfortable. You're not at your physically best yet."

I rub my forehead. "If we wait until I'm physically at my best we will be waiting a while...we both know we've waited long enough. As long...as long as your gentle."

"Maybe I don't want to be."

Butterflies run wild in my stomach. I rest my palm on his chest. "Gentle, or wait a few more weeks," I shrug my shoulders.

"I'll wait. I'm not going to hold back. Plus I mean, I really don't want to break you anymore right now. I rather you heal."

I turn on my other side. I hear the door open. "The kids are home. You should go start dinner."

"Don't order me."

"I'm tired, Eric." I scoot away from him.

I wait for him to leave, sick and tired of his responses that elicit no conversation and that are everything but kind toward me. All I've been doing is trying with Eric--wanting and longing for Eric and he's done nothing. I don't know what to do and I feel as if I'm losing my husband. I want him to whisk me away, I want him to be near me and be gentle and passionate and he's too obsessed with being aggressive and mean and everything his image calls for.

I'm over it...and I was.

***

The next few weeks I went to therapy religiously, did my knee exercises and within weeks my knee was feeling good as new. I no longer needed crutches and I slightly had a limp, but it was nothing terrible. My knee was injured, but it wasn't breakable or fragile anymore.