My Fear (Eric Divergent Fanfic)

Chapter 65

Two weeks passed and Eric and I haven't had sex since before I was kidnapped. Things felt tense and Eric still seemed wary and on edge whenever he had to go to work. Guards stood outside the door and Robert stayed with me inside. The children go to school and then they come home. The schedule is plain and bland and going to Erudite for therapy still felt like a chore.

My knee is healing but I'm still on crutches. Eric helps me out a lot and picks me up to bring me into rooms when my underarms start to hurt.

Ean knocks on the bedroom door, my knee is propped up by a pillow and I set down the book I was reading.

"Come in," I smile at him. He walks in and sits at the edge of the bed and I notice his glare shifts to my scarred cheek. "What's the matter?" I say to him.

"What really happened when you were gone?" I watch as he puffs out his chest and asks me with complete confidence.

"I was on a mission. Dauntless deal with danger everyday, that was my danger and..." I trail off. "Your father would never let anything take me away from you guys."

"You didn't say goodbye," he says in a heartbreaking time. "When you left for your mission you didn't say goodbye to us. What if you died?" His confidence begins to falter, but picks right back up.

I rub my hand along his arm. "Ean..." I say. "I'll always come back to you guys. Please stop worrying about it, I'm fine. Really. My knee is healing and soon I'll be back to work with your father and everyone will forget the whole ordeal happened." I give him a smile. "Now, run along and play with your brother," I can see Eero peeking his head in the crack of the door.

Ean walks over to the door and picks up Eero and they scurry off to wherever to scream and play.

When the kids leave me to the solitude of my room I think of the week I endured with Daniel and Jeanine--and how Jeanine is still alive, she is the one who did this to me, all while Daniel watched. Daniel...he came in the second night after I was tortured, I was so weak and he pressed his body against mine. Slowly he stripped me, cut my clothes, felt me up.

My pleading for him was so soft and I didn't fight--I couldn't fight. It was far from pleasure as pain filled me up inside, his groping violent and left bruises. I lost apart of myself, lost my dignity, it's a part I'll never get back. 

**

Today I think about Peter for some reason, I missed him being around here--not that Robert was doing a terrible job, but I missed my friend. The kids occasionally ask about Peter and I simply tell them that he works a lot and he doesn't have time anymore. That response always saddens them and I know it's not fair for the kids to think they aren't worth the time--especially when Peter's running off was all my doing.

Robert is Peter's replacement and I love him, he's just not someone I've known and am close with. Robert is taller than Peter and around the same height as Eric, the only difference is Robert is slimmer. He has black hair and green eyes and he's handsome, young, but no younger than I am. He's good at responding and taking orders which is mainly why Eric likes him, he always responds with 'yes sir'. Robert is also good with the children, but not as good as Peter.

Apart of my heart will always love Peter, but it doesn't belong to him, it never did. I loved my time with Peter and he bettered me as a Dauntless soldier. We both defected from Candor we will always have that bond Eric and I could never have. I think of calling him sometimes, especially now, but I know he won't answer--why would he?

I stare at the phone and debate on dialing Peter's number. It wasn't until Eric came home and came into the living room that I ended up putting the phone down.