My Fear (Eric Divergent Fanfic)

Chapter 92

I feel my hands start to shake. It takes everything in me not to break down. "You thought about cheating on me?" I can't even look him in the eyes.

"Yes. I didn't though. I honestly stayed at work the whole time."

"I believe you," I'm glad it's dark enough that he can't see the tears falling down my face.

"Don't just be so quick to believe me."

"Shouldn't I believe you?" My voice shakes. "Then what aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing. I'd just hate to think that I could've cheated and I could've came home and fed you the same shit and you would've just believed it."

I sit up on the side of the bed and lean over. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"I'm scum. I still have the same thoughts I did back before we even got it together. I just didn't act on it this time."

I put my hand on my forehead. "I feel like I'm going to throw up."

"I told you this because you should know."

I sob. "Thank you for telling me." I really did feel sick.

"Don't cry. I didn't do it." He frowns.

"You still thought it, Eric." I try to catch my breath and I stand up making my way to the bathroom.

"I blow off steam two ways; exercise and sex. We already exercised today."

"And I haven't given you any in what? Two, three days?" I say bitterly.

"It's not about that." He sighs.

"Oh god," I enter the bathroom and run cold water on my face. "Then why did you think it?" I hold back an estranged sob.

"Because it's easier to just release and relax and not put in the work and effort with you."

"Do you love me?" I'm quiet.

"I do love you. I didn't cheat on you."

I put my hands over my eyes and hold back another cry. "But you could've. It could've been so easy to just end everything." I say upset.

"Yes." He nods.

I turn my head and take a deep breath. "I-I don't know what you want me to say."

"I wanted to make up with you, but I didn't want to do it without you knowing first that I chose this."

"I'm trying to change, Eric. I'm trying for you, I'm trying for the children. I don't want to fight." My voice trembles, "What did I do wrong?"

"Our kids and you mean the world to me and you became a threat to Eli, it just put me off. I'd do anything for this family."

"I would never do anything to threaten Eli's life. T-That fight, it was just...you hate when I defy you, but I hate when you control me."

"I'm not controlling you. It's more like suggestions."

"And if I don't listen then what," I raise my bruised wrists. "Then you get to break me?"

"Don't even put those up because you got physical first."

"You even said it yourself, I'm not strong. But you Eric, you're the strongest one in the compound you could kill me just by your finger."

"Then you should probably listen to my suggestions, especially when it's about the safety of one of our children."

I lift my hands. "Fine. I'll listen to you. I'll take orders and I won't disobey you. You have my word."

He sighs. "Within reason, Elena."