Infinity | Sequel to Right Now |

Out Of My Mind

Songs for this chapter:
- Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur
- Chainsaw by Nick Jonas

Harry's Point Of View

December 16th

"Gyns, where are you?" I let out, panicking to the eventuality that something might have happened to her. "Why did you leave me like that? Please call me. At least, respond to my texts. Please..."

I sigh and hang up the phone. I have gotten her voicemail three times now, left a numerous amount of not replied texts. What could have happened? I saw her walk away. I thought she would have waited for me away from the crowd. I should have never let her out of my sight. If something bad happened to her, I will regret it for the rest of my life. I should have kept her hand in mine. I should have followed her. She means so much more than all of that. But when it comes to me versus the happiness of others, I make them come first. A second of my life to take a picture that will make someone happy for a long time doesn't compare to my selfish desires. Unfortunately for Gyns, she is my biggest selfish desire... If only she knew how much she is my entire world.

Since I met her, I have been questioning myself constantly. I keep on asking myself these questions I can't seem to answer on my own. Am I meant for something greater? What do I truly want in life? What is the next step in my life? Am I truly happy? It's a twisted question. If I were to die tomorrow, would I have been happy or content with everything I have done? This is the only question I can answer, and the truth is no.

For right now, I do not need to get anxious about these ridiculous and stressful questions I can't seem to answer because there's another one obsessing in my mind. Where is Gynie?

I call her again. She picks up and my heart gets big in relief.

It makes no sense how deeply she makes me feel everything. Passion, love, lust, anger, it literally drives me mad that something can affect me that way. Is it the same with everyone? Is that love, the feeling that overtakes every senses? I know I love her, that never was a question, that's probably the thing I am the more sure in my life. I know I needed something in my life, but I never showed, because I've never known what was missing from me, until I met her.

"Gynie? Where are you?" I let out quickly.

"Harry..." She murmurs softly.

"I have been worrying like crazy. Tell me where you are."

"No." I must have misunderstood what she said, but it still freezes the blood in my veins.

"No? Baby, what is going on?"

"This isn't right..." She sighs deeply, not reassuring me at all.

"Talk to me, Gyns. What is wrong?"

"You told me something on the plane that made me think a lot..." I frown to her words, focusing on every word she says, because I can't understand what she means at all. "You told me that you were happy that we were back to the way it was before between us."

"I mean it, babe. I want to start back where we left off. So now tell me where you are so we can go home together." I sigh of relief, believing everything is fine and I was worrying for nothing.

"That's the thing, Harry, I don't want things to be the same. I don't want to be kept hidden. I don't want to be living in the right now. I want to be promised an infinity. And if Liam is right, that's what Matt wants too. I thought a lot about it, maybe all the doubts I had about our relationship were due to miscommunication. I can't believe I actually thought wrong of him. I know he hasn't reached out to me, nor answered my calls, but I can't be throwing a year-and-a-half relationship and one of my best friend away like that..."