Infinity | Sequel to Right Now |

The Sour Taste Of Kiwi

Virginie's Point of View

January 8th

"I wanted to create the best ambiance to tell you..."  He tells me silently from where he sits, in front of me.

I look at his face, lightened by the fire of the candles between us.  The flame dances and sways wildly as Harry is all the contrary, very tamed and controlled in this very moment.  It broke my heart to see how lost he seemed by the look of sadness and desperation on his face.  I know what he has to tell me won't be easy, but it's already so hard on himself and breaking the news to me just adds a stress that I would rather him not to have.  He worried already about so much, this is getting crazy.

"It's perfect."  I smile shyly and lean on the table to reach out for his hand.

He quickly does the same and entwines our fingers together.  He looks at our hands and I do the same, but it takes a while before he looks back up at me.  He seems to be in his head and I know I used to hate that when we started dating.  He was always overthinking and I had to crack his shell a couple of times.  I think I have succeeded to make him more open with me, but clearly he was too scared to share that with me.

"I already told you I have been with lots of woman when we were apart.  I was lost, Gyns..."  He sighs and finally lets out.

"I know that and I could never hold that against you.  You have already told me at the Canyon and it's going to stay there."  I try to be supportive and make it easier on him, still smiling for the few times he actually does look up at me.

"I used to search for dates, but, once I had you, so nothing else could do.  It was always dummed from the start, every of my relationships. I was always looking in the wrong places and it was never with the greatest of intentions. I was in New York at that time and I wanted to have fun. She was gorgeous, a spit picture of you, but American. She was driving every men in the club crazy, but she made it her mission to get me. I was fooled. You were all I could see. Lots of drinks and a cheap pack of cigarettes later, she took me to her apartment. I didn't intend on seeing her again, but I did. She was smart, but she was all about being physical. She was a wicked addiction I couldn't get out off. It's sick, I know, but she reminded me of you. I didn't even know her for a month when I left. I started working on my album and I never saw her again.  I kind of quit my phone for all these weeks and I never wrote back to her.  She got mad, thinking I was ignoring her.  I just didn't know..."  He struggles to keep his eyes into mine.  "I saw her like three or four months ago through our mutual friends.  She hadn't changed, except that she was pregnant.  It never occurred to me it might have been mine, because it seemed like so long ago.  It was before the album, before I saw you again, it seemed like another life.  I sent her a gift to mend how hurt and upset she was that I never talked to her again, but she said I wasn't her business anymore, that she didn't want to have anything to do with me.  I get it.  I hurt her, she maybe had feelings for me, which I doubt, but all I saw was you.  It's the only reason I kept her around that much.  It's bad, I know..."

"I am happy you share that with me.  You shouldn't feel embarrassed or scared to talk to me about anything.  It makes me feel pretty honoured, in a way, both to you to be this honest and to have haunted you like that.  But what I really want to know is how do you feel about the fact that she is having your baby?"  I ask him calmly, bracing myself to the hard truth.

"I am scared.  I am not ready for this.  I never wanted that kid.  And not with her...  I feel like I dishonour you.  I don't know what to expect. She is American, so I don't want to leave the home we have here to be in New York all the time. I have so many questions and no one to answer me.  If the child is mine, I want to be there for him and-"